Dance with Your Woman

Dance With Your Woman

I love to watch women dance. A group sits at a table, a song comes on, and they rise as one and head for the floor. Within seconds the smiles start, and they slip into something that looks a lot like an altered state. Men are welcome, but most of us are just trying to keep up.

This isn't a local quirk. Women gather and let go through dance all over the world: Garba circles in India, wedding dances across the Middle East, hula in Polynesia, salsa and samba in Latin America. (Sadly, some places forbid it, which tells you how powerful it is.) Oxford researchers have found that dancing in sync with others raises pain thresholds and deepens closeness, likely through endorphins. Add exercise, stress relief, and plain joy, and it's no wonder the dance floor fills up.

Now, the average American man, and I include myself, has two dance moves: sitting and watching. Some of us skip the event entirely and leave her to her friends. There's nothing wrong with that, but we miss something.

Couples spend most of their time in parallel: work, errands, screens. Dancing puts two people in the same rhythm, with touch and eye contact, and no one can think about tomorrow's to-do list while doing it. It can bring you back into sync when that's been rare.

It also happens to be a great cure for self-consciousness. It's hard to worry about how you look when you're busy counting steps and trying not to stomp on your wife's foot. And here's the secret: nobody is watching you. They're all too busy worrying about themselves.

I've sat out too many dances, and I finally see what it cost me. I was so worried about looking foolish that I missed connection with my wife. My advice is to dance with your woman. You'll get better, because the more you do it, the better you get.

And ladies, if he dances like a folding chair, be gracious. The connection is well worth an occasional stepped-on toe.

So next time a song comes on and she heads for the floor, stand up, offer your hand, and go for it.

                                                                             Jack Stanley. B.C.C.

       Cedar Park Tx.  78613

       512-269-08023

       Jack@stanleycoaching.com

       www.stanleycoaching.com