The Body Remembers:

How Coaching Unlocks the Hidden Source of Pain: The Basis of Our Coaching

Introduction: Our Rationale in Coaching. 

When most people think of trauma or stress, they imagine it as a mental or emotional weight. But neuroscience, and decades of human experience, tell us something deeper: the body remembers what the mind tries to forget (van der Kolk, 2014).

Many of the pains we carry—tight shoulders, aching backs, stomach knots, even foot pain—are not caused by purely physical strain. They are often the stored residue of unresolved emotional experiences. This is the work of the subconscious mind. When it cannot fully process a traumatic or high-stress moment, it tucks the memory away not only in the psyche, but also in the body. And until that hidden stress is released, it keeps dripping tension into our system, wearing us down over time.

Unchecked stress doesn’t just create tension—it can also cause weight gain or weight loss by disrupting cortisol and metabolism (Epel et al., 2001). Either way, the body breaks down under the burden.

Symptoms of Buried Stress

When stress and trauma are buried rather than released, the symptoms don’t just show up physically—they bleed into every part of life:

• Rapid, seemingly unstoppable thinking (the mind loops and won’t shut off).
• Loss of sleep because of that racing thought loop.
• A strong sense of imposter syndrome—never feeling “enough.”
• Sometimes even perfectionism that drives unrealistic standards.

I once visited a new client in their home. It was a total hoarder’s paradise—clutter everywhere. Yet this person was probably a 10 on the perfectionism scale. The discrepancy between how they lived and how they judged themselves kept them trapped in reliving the pain of the past.

Sometimes we even hold onto pain as if it will protect us. But what it really does is lock us into cycles that exhaust both mind and body.

Where Trauma Lives

The subconscious doesn’t just store trauma in the brain—it often “files” it in the body (LeDoux, 1996; Schacter, 1992).

• Some feel it in the chest or heart area (tightness, heaviness).
• Others carry it in the stomach (knots, nausea).
• Many experience it in the back, neck, or shoulders (tension, stiffness).

I call this the cat shit effect. The subconscious buries trauma like a cat buries its waste. Out of sight, out of mind. But the problem remains. The buried trauma becomes a silent leak of stress chemicals, a slow drip of cortisol and adrenaline that the body endures day after day.

We need to be more like dogs—open up, let the emotions out, and move on—not endlessly rebury the same mess.

My Story of Physical Pain

After a devastating business failure years later, I thought I had “handled it well.” I kept moving forward. But soon, I developed intense plantar fasciitis. Walking became painful. I tried every physical treatment—stretching, shoes, therapy—with little relief.

It wasn’t until I processed the deep emotional stress of that season—acknowledging and releasing it—that the physical pain began to fade. No new exercise fixed it. Emotional healing did. The same was true with back and neck pain in other stressful seasons of my life.

The Coaching Connection

Here’s the good news: you don’t have to live with buried trauma forever. Coaching provides tools to access the subconscious, interrupt old patterns, and release the weight both emotionally and physically.

Techniques such as:

• Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) – shifting the way the mind codes and recalls experiences.
• Neural Associative Conditioning – rewiring triggers and responses.
• Hypnosis – working directly with the subconscious to dissolve old patterns (Kirsch et al., 1995).
• Time Line Therapy™ – clearing the emotional charge from past events.

Milton Erickson, the father of modern hypnotherapy, once said:

“Patients are patients because they are out of rapport with their own unconscious… The task of therapy is to help them reestablish that connection.”

This is the essence of great coaching—we help people reconnect with the power of their subconscious, not to relive pain but to release it.

Cloe Madanes, pioneer of strategic therapy, reminds us:

“Every problem is a solution to another problem.”

Many of the pains we carry—whether physical tension, perfectionism, or feelings of not being enough—are really old strategies the subconscious created to try to protect us. Coaching gives us new strategies that heal instead of harm.

A Final Thought

Great coaching does not require you to relive the experiences of the past. It simply teaches you how to release the emotions attached to them. Change the story, and you change the impact.

The body remembers—but it can also be set free.

Reflection Prompts

1. Where do I carry stress or pain in my body?
2. What event or season might be connected to that sensation?
3. Am I holding onto pain as a way to protect myself?
4. What would it feel like to release that old emotion without reliving the event?

References

• van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.
• LeDoux, J. (1996). The Emotional Brain: The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life. Simon & Schuster.
• Schacter, D. L. (1992). Implicit memory: History and current status. Journal of Experimental Psychology: Learning, Memory, and Cognition, 18(3), 501–518.
• Damasio, A. (1996). The somatic marker hypothesis and the possible functions of the prefrontal cortex. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 351(1346), 1413–1420.
• Epel, E. S., et al. (2001). Stress may add bite to appetite in women: a laboratory study of stress-induced cortisol and eating behavior. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 26(1), 37–49.
• Sarno, J. E. (1991). Healing Back Pain: The Mind-Body Connection. Warner Books.
• Kirsch, I., Montgomery, G., & Sapirstein, G. (1995). Hypnosis as an adjunct to cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy: A meta-analysis. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 63(2), 214–220.
• Levine, P. (1997). Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma. North Atlantic Books.
• Erickson, M. H. (1980). Collected Papers of Milton H. Erickson on Hypnosis. Irvington Publishers.
• Haley, J. (1973). Uncommon Therapy: The Psychiatric Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D. W. W. Norton & Company.
• Madanes, C. (1981). Strategic Family Therapy. Jossey-Bass.

                                                                                                      Jack Stanley B.C.C.