What happens in a Rewire one day coaching event?

THE MULTIPLIER: THE STAGE YOU CAN SEE BUT CAN'T SEEM TO REACH

Thu, 23 Apr 2026 16:23:41 GMT

The Power is from 1 to many!

THE MULTIPLIER: THE STAGE YOU CAN SEE BUT CAN'T SEEM TO REACH

Part 3 of 4 — The Entrepreneur Archetype Series

← Part 2: The Maintainer | Part 4: What's Actually in the Way →

You know exactly what you need to do.

You have read the books. You have sat in the rooms. You understand leverage, delegation, systems, leadership. You can describe the Multiplier entrepreneur in precise detail — the person whose company grows without requiring more of them personally, whose team executes at a high level, whose time is genuinely their own.

You can see it clearly.

And yet here you are. Still in the middle of everything. Still the one people come to. Still feeling like the moment you step back, something slips.

This is the gap that no amount of strategy has been able to close. And there is a reason for that.

What the Multiplier Actually Is

The Multiplier entrepreneur has crossed a specific threshold — not a business threshold, but a personal one.

They have built an organization that does not depend on their constant presence. Not because they found the right system or hired the right people, though those things matter. But because they fundamentally changed the way they show up as a leader.

The Multiplier trusts. Not naively — but from a place of genuine security rather than anxiety. They can hold vision without controlling execution . They can let someone fail a small thing in order to develop the capacity to handle bigger things. They can stay in the room without running it.

None of that is a management technique. It is a way of being.

And that is exactly why it is so hard to get to from the Maintainer stage.

The Gap Is Not What You Think It Is

Most Maintainers believe the gap is structural. If they just found the right COO, or built the right accountability system, or finally documented their processes correctly — then the shift would happen.

Some of that work is necessary. None of it is sufficient.

The real constraint in the Multiplier transition is not organizational. It is internal.

The Builder identity that built your company — the one that survived on output, that equated control with safety, that treated relentlessness as a virtue — that identity does not voluntarily step aside. It cannot. Its entire function is to keep you safe through effort and vigilance.

Until something changes at that level, the strategy work is like rearranging furniture in a room with a structural problem in the foundation.

The Question Worth Sitting With

Think about the last time you genuinely delegated something important — not handed it off with invisible strings attached, but actually let someone else own it.

What happened in your body when you did that?

If the honest answer involves something uncomfortable — a tightening, an urge to check in, a background hum of doubt — that is not a confidence problem or a trust problem. It is a signal. The nervous system that built your company is still running. And it has a very strong opinion about what happens when you let go.

The Multiplier stage is not waiting for you on the other side of better habits. It is waiting on the other side of understanding what that signal actually is, where it comes from, and what it would take to rewire it.

That is a different kind of work than most entrepreneurs have ever done. It is also the most leveraged work available to you.

Where This Series Goes Next

In Part 4 we go below the business framework entirely — into what is actually underneath the stuck points every entrepreneur hits in these transitions, and why it rarely responds to what seems like it should work.

← Part 2: The Maintainer | Continue to Part 4 →

Which moment in your business most clearly reveals the identity that is still running — the one that built the company but may be running the show past its expiration date? That awareness is usually where the real work begins.

Jack Stanley B.C.C. — Stanley Coaching — 512 269 8023 jack@stanleycoaching.com

Schedule a Free Intro Coaching Session HERE

www.Stanleycoaching.com ©Jack Stanley 2026

The Builder Entrepeneur

Thu, 23 Apr 2026 14:59:29 GMT

Building Your Dream

The Entrepreneur Who Can't Stop Building — Even When It's Costing Him Everything

April 23, 2026

Part 1 of 4 — The Builder

There is a specific kind of exhaustion that successful entrepreneurs rarely talk about.

It is not burnout from failure.

It is burnout from winning.

You built something real. Revenue is there. People depend on you. By almost every measure, it worked. And yet you wake up still pushing at the same intensity you had when everything was fragile and the whole thing could have collapsed on a Tuesday.

You cannot quite turn it off.

And somewhere in the background, quieter than you would like to admit, there is a question: Why does this still feel so hard?

The Identity That Saved You

Every company that survives its early years does so because of one thing — a founder who refused to stop. No committee. No safety net. No margin for error. Just movement.

That identity — what I call the Builder — is one of the most powerful forces in business. The Builder makes fast decisions with limited information. Tolerates risk that would stop most people cold. Outworks everyone in the room. And does it all while carrying the weight of every person who depends on the company functioning.

It is not a personality type. It is an identity. A deeply wired pattern of how you see yourself, what you believe you must do, and what you believe happens if you stop.

And it worked. That is the problem .

When the Pattern Outlives Its Purpose

At some point — and there is always a point — the Builder identity stops being an asset and starts being a ceiling.

The business needs you to delegate, and you cannot let go. It needs you to think strategically, and you are still firefighting. It needs leadership, and you are still operating. The team around you has grown, but you are still running as if it is just you.

This is not a time management problem. It is not a discipline problem. It is not even a business problem.

It is an identity problem.

The pattern that got you here was built in the early fires of the business — or earlier. It is anchored in the nervous system. Knowing you need to change does not give you access to the pattern. Understanding the concept of delegation does not make it feel safe.

The identity that built your company — where did it actually come from? And is it still serving you, or is it now running you?

Where This Goes Next...

In Part 2 we look at the Maintainer

The stage most entrepreneurs reach but far fewer successfully navigate. The trap is quieter there, and in some ways more dangerous.

Part 1 of 4 — continue to Part 2: The Maintainer

A question worth sitting with: The identity that built your company — where did it actually come from? And is it still serving you, or is it now running you?

I f that question lands somewhere real, I work with entrepreneurs on exactly this level — not the business strategy, but the pattern underneath it. The conversation to find out if it is relevant to you is free.

Jack Stanley B.C.C. — Stanley Coaching — 512 269 8023 — jack@stanleycoaching.com stanleycoaching.com. ©jackstanley 2026

STRESS, THE ANSWERS. A BIBLICAL LOOK

Tue, 21 Apr 2026 13:56:20 GMT

Preparation for Adult Life in the Beattitudes! Who Knew?

Just Before Jesus gave the Sermon on On the Mount he give this interesting quick set of points of view. It is interesting. It is about what we could call Stress. Here is one analysis, more coaching organized. Very Interesting. Was this Preparation? Very likely. What can you and I learn from the Beatitudes ?

Where This Sits in the Text

I n the Gospel of Matthew:

Matthew 4:23–25 → Jesus is healing, teaching, demonstrating power
Matthew 5:1–12 → Beatitudes
Matthew 5–7 → Sermon on the Mount

So the flow is:

Power → Identity → Instruction

That order is everything.

1. He Was Not Starting with Rules

If Jesus had jumped straight into:

anger = murder
lust = adultery
love your enemies

…people would hear it as impossible moral pressure .

Instead, He starts with the Beatitudes.

Why?

Because:

He defines who is “blessed” before He defines how they should live.

2. The Beatitudes Rebuild Identity First

The disciples (and the crowd) came in with a worldview:

Blessed = strong, successful, respected
Righteous = externally obedient
Favor = visible success

Jesus flips it:

Blessed = poor, hungry, grieving, rejected

That’s not encouragement.

That’s identity demolition and rebuild .

�� Before they can live differently…
�� they must see differently

3. Yes—He Is Preparing Them (But for What?)

Not just for teaching.

He’s preparing them for:

internal conflict
external resistance
a standard they cannot meet in their own strength

Because right after this, He raises the bar:

Not just behavior → heart-level transformation
Not just law → intent and motive
Not just righteousness → perfect righteousness

Without the Beatitudes, that crushes people.

With them, it reframes everything:

“You already belong—even in your weakness.”

⚖️ 4. The Beatitudes Remove the Illusion of Self-Sufficiency

This is key.

The Sermon on the Mount cannot be lived by:

willpower
discipline alone
moral effort

The Beatitudes strip that illusion away.

They say:

You are poor (you lack)
You are hungry (you need)
You are dependent

�� That’s preparation.

Because now:

They won’t try to perform the Sermon…
They will have to d epend to live it

5. This Is Also a Filtering Mechanism

Not everyone listening is actually “in.”

The Beatitudes create a dividing line:

Those who see themselves in it → lean in
Those who reject it → resist what comes next

So yes, He is preparing the disciples…

But He is also revealing who the disciples are.

6. Connection to Luke (Same Pattern)

In the Gospel of Luke:

Power flows out of Him (healing)
He speaks Beatitudes
Then gives instruction

Same pattern:

Experience → Reorientation → Teaching

7. What This Means Theologically

This is huge:

Identity precedes obedience in the Kingdom of God.

Not:

“Live this way so you become blessed”

But:

“You are blessed—now live from that reality”

8. Where People Get This Wrong

They reverse the order:

Try to live the Sermon → hope to become blessed
Try to be righteous → hope to be accepted

That leads to:

frustration
burnout
performance-based faith

Exactly what Jesus was dismantling.

Bottom Line

Yes—Jesus was preparing the disciples.

But not with motivation.

He was:

redefining reality
rebuilding identity
removing self-reliance
establishing dependence

So that when He says:

“Be perfect as your Father is perfect…”

They don’t think:

“I can achieve that.”

They realize:

“I will have to become something different to live that freedom!"

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

Stanley Coaching LLC

Cedar Park Texas

512-269-8023

jack@stanleycoaching.com

www.stanleycoaching.com

set a free intro to coaching session on the web site

From Thawed Out To New Meaning

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 20:01:59 GMT

This is a subtitle for your new post

The Way Forward: Stop Looking Back. Start Rewiring Forward

You don’t break a ceiling by reviewing your past.
You break it by installing a new pattern for your future.

Most people think growth requires going backward.

More reflection.
More analysis.
More understanding.

And sometimes that’s useful.

But for high performers?

It becomes a trap.

Because you don’t need more awareness.

You need execution at a higher level than your current pattern allows.

Here’s the shift:

Your next level isn’t hiding in your history.

It’s sitting just outside your current identity.

And it feels like:

Uncertainty
Risk
Movement without full clarity
Acting before you feel ready

Which is exactly what you used to do… before you became “successful.”

What actually changes things:

New decisions under pressure
New emotional responses to uncertainty
New actions taken before confidence shows up

That’s how patterns break.

Not by thinking differently…

By doing differently long enough that your identity catches up.

Reality check:

You’re not lacking tools.

You’re underusing the ones you already have.

Because your current pattern doesn’t require more.

It requires different.

There is a version of you that already knows how to do this.

You’ve been there before.

The problem is…

You’re waiting to feel ready again.

Stop waiting.

If you want a different future—

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

Stanley Coaching LLC

Click Below to schedule a Free Exploratory Session

www.stanleycoaching.com

512 269 8023

jack@stanleycoaching.com

From Frozen to Breaking the Ice

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 19:49:11 GMT

So you have been Frozen, How do know what is next?

The Real Problem: You Didn’t Your Drive… You Lost Access

I hear this all the time:

“I just don’t feel it anymore.”
“The fire’s gone.”
“I used to be different.”

No—you weren’t different.

You were accessing a different state.

There was a time when:

You moved fast
You took risks
You didn’t overthink everything
You created momentum

That version of you still exists.

But right now?

You’re operating from a different internal pattern.

More cautious.
More calculated.
More… contained.

Which sounds mature.

But it’s also where growth starts to stall.

Because what got you here was expansion.
What’s keeping you here is protection.

And protection kills hunger.

The Shift:

At this stage of life, success creates a trap.

You start managing what you’ve built instead of expanding beyond it.

You become a maintainer… instead of a builder.

A nd builders don’t lose energy.

They lose access to the conditions that created it.

Truth most people don’t want to hear:

You don’t need more information.

You already know enough.

You’ve read the books.
Heard the strategies.
Seen the plays.

But knowing isn’t the problem.

Access is.

So the question isn’t:

“What should I do next?”

The real question is:

Why aren’t you doing what you already know would move you forward?

That’s where the real work begins.

Building New Patterns... Will Be essential

Let''s Start Today

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

Stanley Coaching LLC

Cedar Park , TX 78613

512 269 8023

Schedule a Fee Introductory Session www.stanleycoaching.com

jack@stanleycoaching.com

Sooo Successful You Are Frozen

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 19:27:07 GMT

Here You Sit Frozen in Your Own Fear, Self Doubt ...

You’re Not Burned Out. You’ve Lost Access

You’re not burned out.

You just don’t feel like yourself anymore.

The edge isn’t as sharp.
The hunger doesn’t show up the way it used to.
The game feels heavier than it should.

And somewhere in the background, there’s that thought:

“Maybe I’ve lost it.”

Let’s clear that up right now.

You haven’t.

You’ve already proven something most people never do.

You’ve built results.
You’ve created momentum.
You know how to execute.

That doesn’t just disappear.

So if you’re not burned out… what’s actually happening?

You haven’t lost your ability.
You’ve lost access to it.

And those are not the same thing.

High performers don’t forget how to win.
But they do drift away from the state, structure, and pattern that made winning natural.

The Shift No One Warns You About

At some point—quietly, without a big moment—you shift:

What used to be a stretch becomes normal
What used to excite you becomes expected
What used to require effort becomes routine

And then something subtle happens:

You move from building… to managing.

You’re still producing.

Still respected.
Still performing.

But you’re no longer operating at the edge of your capability.

You’re operating inside a range.

And That Range Becomes a Ceiling

Here’s the trap:

Nothing is broken.

So nothing gets fixed.

You don’t crash.

You stabilize.

And stability, at your level, can quietly become containment .

You don’t fall off.
You level off.

So you call it burnout.

You say you’ve lost your energy.
Lost your hunger.
Lost your drive.

But let’s be honest for a minute…

Maybe you haven’t lost your energy.
Maybe you’ve lost your way.

Because You Can Feel It

This is the part most people won’t say out loud.

There’s a sense that:

You could be operating at a higher level
You’ve touched it before
You just don’t sustain it

It’s like something just out of reach.

Not completely unknown…

More like an almost-memory.

You can feel it.

But you can’t quite access it consistently.

And That’s Frustrating at Your Level

Because early on, growth is obvious.

You try something—you improve.

You push—you expand.

But now?

Effort doesn’t translate the same way.

You can work harder…

And still feel like you’re circling the same level.

Here’s the Truth Most People Miss

This is not a motivation problem.

This is not a discipline problem.

And it’s not a lack of strategy.

This is a pattern problem.

You are running a pattern that got you here.

And that pattern is now:

Stabilizing your results
Containing your growth
Regulating your output

Not because you’re broken…

Because it’s doing exactly what it was built to do.

Which Means This Changes Everything

If the problem isn’t effort…

Then more effort won’t solve it.

If the problem isn’t knowledge…

Then more information won’t fix it.

If the problem is the pattern…
then the solution is changing the structure.

Y ou don’t need to become someone new.

You don’t need to go backward and “find your old self.”

You need to restore access to the level you already know is there.

And that doesn’t happen by pushing harder.

It happens by identifying—and removing—the pattern that’s quietly holding you in place.

Because once that shifts…

The next level doesn’t feel forced.

It feels natural.

And here’s the real question:

If you’re capable of more…
what’s actually keeping you operating at this level?

Wouldn't it be Great if You Had Access to a Success Coach that Can Help You Smoothly and Fast?

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

Stanley Coaching LLC

www.stanleycoaching.com

512 269 8023

Jack@stanleycoaching.com

Break the Pattern, And Change Your Life

What Stops You from Applying what you know?

Thu, 02 Apr 2026 17:34:19 GMT

Fear pops up and you stop....Frozen... Progress stops too.

Fear Stops Application

In my last post, I talked about a woman who knew everything…
and changed nothing.

She wasn’t lacking knowledge.

She was lacking the ability to apply it when it mattered.

I saw this play out in a very different setting.

I was sailing across the Gulf—about 140 miles from shore.
Three days out. No quick exit.

Each day I checked in with my wife on the sat phone.
One call changed everything.

“Serious weather coming.”

No dodging it.

We were at least 10 hours from any protected dock.

I had brought along a former sailing instructor and one of his students.
When I told them about the storm, the instructor said,
“We already know.”

Turns out the student had a sat phone too.
He just hadn’t shared the information.

The winds had been calm, so we were running the engine.

Standard process—every 12 hours I shut it down, check fluids, restart.

Except this time…
it didn’t restart.

Now we’ve got a storm coming, rising seas,
and no engine.

The instructor—very experienced—went straight into panic.

Yelling.
Cursing.
Full emotional takeover.

Not thinking. Reacting.

I went to the batteries.
Started checking systems.

He’s still losing it.

So I hit him with a pattern interrupt—hard and direct:

“What if this is exactly where we’re supposed to be?”

It snapped him—almost like he dropped into a trance.

Silence.

I calmed myself down, reached backing my mind into training,
and found a possible fix.

Went below deck.
Worked the problem.

Came back up.

Started the engine.

He was so locked in his state, he didn’t even realize I had fixed it.

Then the storm hit.

Waves building.

Boat rocking, rolling, getting thrown around.

A rough 18 hours.

But we made it.

Here’s the point:

Fear shuts down application.

Not intelligence.
Not knowledge.

Application.

This was a trained, experienced sailor.
He knew exactly what to do.

But in that moment…

He couldn’t access it.

Fear will do that.

It will:

Hijack your thinking
Narrow your focus
Override your training

And leave you reacting instead of responding.

Most people don’t have a knowledge problem.

They have an access problem.

You can know:

You’re enough
How to communicate
What to do next in business

But when fear hits…

You don’t apply it.

If fear is running your system,
your knowledge is irrelevant in the moment that counts.

That’s why integration matters.

Because when it’s wired in—
you don’t have to go find it.

It’s there.

Automatic.

Available under pressure.

Fear isn’t the enemy.

Untrained fear is.

And if you’re honest…

There are areas in your life right now
where you already know what to do—

you’re just not doing it when it matters.

That’s not a knowledge problem.

It is a Fear Problem.

I help with that...

Jack Stanley B.C.C..

Stanley Coaching LLC.

1320 Arrow Pointe Suite 501

Cedar Park TX 78613

512-269-8023

www.stanleycaoching.com

The Client who Knew it All!

Tue, 31 Mar 2026 14:48:27 GMT

Knowing is not the same as Being

The Woman Who Knew Everything… and Changed Nothing

I worked with a client who had read everything.

Books. Podcasts. Seminars. Certifications. She had spent large tens of thousands of dollars to attend everything from

events aimed at helping. Great name and good people But.. .

She could explain mindset, habits, emotional intelligence better than most coaches.

But her life? Remainded

Flat.

Inconsistent. Frustrated. Stalled.

At one point I told her:
“You don’t need more knowledge. You need to learn to integrate to your core what you already know.” The challenge was HOW?

Her knowledge sat outside of her—like tools in a toolbox she never used.

Once we shifted to integration:

Practicing responses instead of discussing them
Rewiring emotional reactions
Installing new patterns into daily life

Things changed.

Not overnight—but permanently. And still quickly

The Real Problem: You’re Living from Observation, Not Identity

Most people are observers of truth.

Very few are expressions of it.

That’s the gap.

And that gap is your ceiling.

So What Is Integration?

I ntegration is when:

A belief becomes automatic
A response becomes natural
A value becomes how you live—not what you say

It’s when your mind, body, and behavior all align.

No forcing. No reminding. No “trying.”

It just shows up. With this lady is showed up with a significantly renewed relationship with her husband.

More income, More life satisfaction and much greater resilience.

And Here’s the Hard Question

If you’re stuck…

Maybe not because you don’t know what to do.

It’s because what you know… hasn’t been integrated into how you operate.

Call to Action

So stop asking:

“What do I need to learn?”

And start asking:

“What do I need to integrate?”

Because your next level is not waiting on more information.

It’s waiting on you to become what you already understand.

And that…

That’s not a DIY project for most people.

This is where the right guide changes everything .

Jack Stanley B.C.C

1320 Arrow Point Suite 501

Cedar Park, TX 67613

512-269-8023

jack@stanleycoaching.com

schedule a free session here www.stanleycoaching.com

Stanley Coaching: We coach English Speaking People World

©jackstanley 2026

Information Based Growth Verses Knowing Getting Past the Ceiling

Sat, 28 Mar 2026 18:43:59 GMT

Knowing is Never Enough Integration is the Key

When Knowing Isn’t Enough

A client came to me a few years ago with strong momentum.

He was doing well—really well.

Hitting goals.
Exceeding expectations.
Moving forward in ways he hadn’t before.

Then something happened.

He leveled off… and started slipping back.

At first glance, it looked like a ceiling problem.
Like he had reached his limit.

But that wasn’t it.

What became clear was this:

He knew what to do.
He just hadn’t integrated it.

The Difference Between Knowing and Integration was the problem

He could explain the strategies.
He could talk through the right responses.
He understood the patterns.

But under pressure?

He defaulted back to the old behavior.

Why?

Because what he had learned was sitting in his mind like information…
not living in him as a response.

I explained it to him this way:

“It’s like the Ten Commandments written on stone tablets.
They’re there.
You can read them.
You can even agree with them.
But they’re not written into how you live yet.” You will always wrestle with them.

That landed.

The Real Work Begins There

Most people think the breakthrough is the win.

It’s not.

The breakthrough is the door.

Integration is what changes a life.

So we shifted the work:

From understanding → to repetition
From insight → to conditioning
From thinking → to responding

We didn’t add more information.

We installed new patterns.

What Changed

Instead of trying to “remember” what to do…

He began to do it automatically.

His responses changed under pressure.
His consistency improved.
His confidence stabilized.

And most importantly…

He stopped slipping back.

Why This Matters

A lot of people are walking around with good information.

They’ve read the books.
Taken the assessments.
Listened to the podcasts.

But when life hits…

They go right back to what’s familiar.

Because knowledge does not override conditioning.

Only integration does.

The Shift

When something is integrated:

You don’t have to think about it
You don’t have to remind yourself
You don’t have to force it

It becomes who you are.

And there is a process for that integration at the conscious and unconscious levels.

Final Thought

Most people don’t need more information.

They need what they already know…

to become how they live.

If you want, I’ll add 2 more stories:

one around relationships (pattern ceiling / “not enough / can’t be loved”)
one around business (income ceiling / permission / identity conflict)

You can do this your self with lots of trial and error or have great coach to help you through this quickly and accurately. You might want to schedule a free discussion to see if you are ready.

Jack Stanley B.C.C

1320 Arrow Point Suite 501

Cedar Park, TX 67613

512-269-8023

jack@stanleycoaching.com

schedule a free session here www.stanleycoaching.com

Stanley Coaching: We coach English Speaking People World Wide

Multiple Ceilings You never See

Thu, 26 Mar 2026 14:45:30 GMT

The Invisible Ceilings of Life

The Income Ceiling You Didn’t Know You Installed

He walked in frustrated.

“Jack, I can’t break $100K. Every time I get close, something happens.”

Not laziness. Not lack of skill. Not opportunity.

A ceiling.

And ceilings aren’t financial—they’re psychological.

Within minutes, we found it.

His father.

Early in life, his dad wasn’t around. Later, he came back. But in this man’s internal world, there was a quiet, unspoken rule:

“Don’t outgrow Dad.”

Not conscious. Not logical. But powerful.

Because if he earned more…
He risked disconnection.
Judgment.
Losing the relationship he finally had.

So what did he do?

He hovered just under $100K.

Not by accident—by design.

We got permission from his father—clear, direct, emotional.
Something shifted.

He blew past $100K and landed around $150K.

Problem solved?

Not even close.

Because… he stopped again.

New ceiling.

This one wasn’t about Dad anymore.
It was deeper.

Identity.

Worth.

Safety.

Your nervous system doesn’t care about your goals—it cares about what feels safe and familiar.

And if success feels unfamiliar…
It will slow you down.
Distract you.
Create problems out of nowhere.
Have you “accidentally” sabotage your next level.

So you sit there thinking:

“I just need better strategy.”
“I need more leads.”
“I need to work harder.”

No.

You need to stop negotiating with a ceiling you didn’t even realize you built.

Here’s the truth most people don’t want to hear:

You are not stuck.
You are staying inside an internal agreement.

And until that agreement changes, your income won’t.

You’ll work harder… and circle the same number.
Year after year.

Different effort.
Same result.

That’s not a business problem.

That’s a pattern.

And patterns don’t break with motivation—they break with precision.

So here’s the question:

What number do you keep almost reaching… and then backing away from?

That number isn’t random.

It’s your ceiling.

And it will stay there until you deal with what’s underneath it.

If you do exceed it you will drop back down

Call to Action

If you’re tired of hitting the same financial ceiling—no matter how hard you push—let’s find out what’s actually running the show.

I don’t do surface-level fixes.

We go straight to the pattern, break it, and install something that holds under pressure.

If you’re ready for that level of change, request a Private Exploration.

Or stay where you are and keep wondering why it never quite breaks through.

Your move.

Schedule a Free discussion below:

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

1320 Arrow Pointe Suite 501

Cedar Park Tx 78613

512-269-8023

jack@stanleycoching.com

www.stanleycoaching.com

Schedule a free session

https://calendly.com/stanleycoaching/free -30-minute-coaching-intro-by-zoom

Choosing the Right Life Coach

Wed, 18 Mar 2026 14:30:01 GMT

So Many Coaches, How do I Choose the "right" Coach.

How to Choose a Life or Business Coach (Without Getting Fooled)

Coaching can be life-changing.
It can also be confusing, expensive, and—when done poorly—a waste of time and money.

Today, almost anyone can call themselves a coach. So the real question isn’t “Do I need a coach?”
It’s “How do I choose the right one?”

Here are a few clear, practical ways to evaluate a potential life or business coach—before you invest your time, money, and trust.

1. Look for results, not just inspiration

Inspiration feels good. Results change your life.

A good coach should be able to clearly explain:

Who they typically help
What changes their clients experience
How those changes show up in real life (decisions, income, relationships, confidence, peace)

If everything sounds emotional but nothing sounds practical, be cautious.

2. They should be able to explain how change happens

You don’t need a technical lecture—but you do deserve clarity.

A solid coach can explain:

What creates lasting change
How they help people move past being “stuck”
What happens when motivation fades or resistance shows up

If the explanation is vague, mystical, or avoids personal responsibility, that’s not a good sign.

3. Real coaching includes challenge—not just comfort

Coaching is not about being “fixed.”
It’s about being strengthened.

A good coach will:

Ask questions that stretch your thinking
Gently challenge your stories and assumptions
Help you see blind spots you’ve been protecting

If a coach only validates how hard things are—without helping you move forward—you may feel supported, but you won’t grow.

4. Experience matters—especially the hard kind

Books and certifications matter.
Life experience matters more.

Look for a coach who has:

Faced real pressure
Navigated failure or loss
Rebuilt, adapted, and grown

You don’t need someone perfect. You need someone who understands the terrain because they’ve walked it.

5. Pay attention to boundaries and expectations

Strong coaches are clear about:

Time commitments
Fees and structure
Roles and responsibilities

Clarity creates safety.
Vagueness creates confusion and dependence.

If a coach is uncomfortable being direct about expectations, that usually shows up later in the work.

6. Notice how you feel after you talk with them

This is subtle—but important.

After a conversation with a good coach, most people feel:

Clearer (even if challenged)
More responsible for their life, not less
Motivated to take action

If you feel emotionally lifted but unsure what to do next, that’s not transformation—it’s a temporary boost.

7. Ask this final question

Before you commit, ask yourself:

“Would I trust this person’s guidance when things get uncomfortable?”

Growth always gets uncomfortable before it gets better.
The right coach is someone you’d respect—and listen to—when it matters most.

Final Thought

A great coach doesn’t make you dependent.
They help you become more capable, more grounded, and more free.

Choose someone who:

Tells the truth with care
Believes in your ability to grow
Has a clear process and human wisdom

Your future deserves that level of discernment.

We offer a free 60-90 minute coaching exploration session. It is not a sales gimmick it is actually a time to see if we are great fit for coaching you.

Jack Stanley BCC Schedule a Free 60-90 Minute Coaching Exploration Session.

Stanley Learning LLC

Cedar Park, Tx 78613

512-269-8023.

Email Jack@stanleycoching.com

www.stanleycoaching.com

Benefits of Men Growing Up in Chaos

Wed, 11 Mar 2026 23:35:34 GMT

The Upside of a Dysfunctional Home for Men

The Strength Forged in a Difficult Home: What Some Men Learn from Growing Up in Chaos

Not every strong man grew up in a peaceful home.

Many grew up where voices were loud, emotions were unpredictable, and tension could fill the room without warning. Some homes were marked by anger, criticism, or instability. A child living in that kind of environment learns quickly that life is not always safe, fair, or calm.

And while that kind of upbringing can certainly leave scars, it can also shape abilities that later become strengths.

A difficult home can become a forge.

Steel is strengthened under heat and pressure. In the same way, some men develop remarkable capabilities because they had to adapt early. They learned how to navigate tension, uncertainty, and strong personalities long before most of their peers.

One of the first skills often developed is situational awareness. A child in an aggressive household becomes very good at reading a room. Tone of voice, facial expressions, subtle shifts in energy—these signals are picked up quickly. Later in life this often becomes a form of emotional intelligence. These men can sense when something is wrong long before it is spoken. I learned this in my early life, it has been a remarkable talent.

Another strength that frequently develops is resilience. When life is not predictable, you learn to endure discomfort. You learn how to keep functioning even when things are difficult. That resilience becomes a powerful advantage in adulthood. In business, leadership, and relationships, the ability to remain steady under pressure is rare—and incredibly valuable.

Many men from difficult homes also develop a strong sense of independence. When support was inconsistent or unreliable, they learned to solve problems on their own. They learned to think, adapt, and move forward without waiting for someone else to fix things. This independence often shows up later as initiative, leadership, and the willingness to take responsibility.

There is also frequently a deep protective instinct that develops. A boy who experiences aggression often grows into a man who wants to make sure the people around him feel safe. He becomes protective of his family, his children, and those who are vulnerable. The man who once felt unsafe may become the one who creates safety for others.

Men raised in chaotic homes often develop something else as well: an appreciation for peace. When you have lived in conflict, you understand the value of calm. Stability, respect, and thoughtful communication are no longer taken for granted. Many men consciously build homes that feel very different from the ones they grew up in.

Loyalty is another trait that often grows from difficult beginnings. When trust was rare in childhood, trustworthy relationships become deeply valued in adulthood. Friendships, partnerships, and marriages are often held with seriousness and commitment.

And perhaps the most powerful learning is the decision that many men eventually make: the pattern stops with me.

Instead of repeating what they experienced, they become determined to create something better. They build healthier marriages, become more thoughtful fathers, and choose to lead their families differently. What once caused pain becomes motivation for growth.

A difficult childhood does not automatically define a man’s future. For many, it becomes the starting point for developing depth, strength, and wisdom.

When a man reflects on his past and chooses to grow from it, the story changes. The chaos that once shaped him no longer controls him. Instead, it becomes part of the process that forged his character .

And that can become a powerful foundation for the life he builds next.

In the next discussion, we will look at the other side of this experience—the hidden costs that can also develop when a man grows up in an aggressive or dysfunctional home, and why understanding those patterns is just as important for growth and healthy relationships.

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

1320 Arrow Point Suite 501

Cedar Park, Tx 78613

or schedule a free coaching intro session below.

The firs Archetype of an Entrepreneur The Builder. Part 1 of 3

Tue, 10 Mar 2026 21:33:27 GMT

The Builder, the first Archetype of an Entrepreneur.

The Three Lives of an Entrepreneur

Part 1 — The Builder

Turning back?

Not an option.

In the beginning there is no strategy retreat, no committee meeting, no comfortable margin of error.

There is only movement.

No hesitation. Just do.

Make a mistake? Fix it. Keep moving.

The constant driver is survival.

If the founder doesn’t push, nothing moves.
If he doesn’t decide, nothing happens.

There is no safety net. No reserve leadership team. No deep structure to lean on.

Speed matters more than perfection.
Effort outruns structure.
Progress comes through sheer force of will.

This is the first archetype of entrepreneurship:

The Builder.

The Builder thrives in fragility.

He makes fast decisions with limited information.
He works longer than everyone else.
He carries responsibility others avoid.
He tolerates risk because the alternative is failure.

The Builder does not wait for clarity.

He creates clarity by moving.

He experiments.

He improvises.
He builds momentum where nothing existed before.

And in the early stage, this identity works brilliantly.

The company grows because of force.
Momentum builds because of intensity.
Survival energy fuels expansion.

Many businesses never escape this stage.

Not because the founder lacks intelligence or ability — but because building something from nothing demands a level of personal intensity most people never sustain.

But for the entrepreneur who succeeds, something eventually changes.

The company is no longer fragile.

Revenue stabilizes.

People are hired.

Customers become predictable.

Systems start appearing where chaos once ruled.

And slowly, almost quietly, the business stops depending on the founder’s personal output every hour of the day.

And that’s where a strange problem begins.

Because the Builder still wakes up ready to push.

That identity was forged in the early fires of survival.

Push harder.
Move faster.
Solve everything personally.

But the company no longer needs force in the same way.

Instead of fragility, there is structure.

Instead of chaos, there are processes.

Instead of “do everything,” the new job becomes “develop others.”

This is where many entrepreneurs unknowingly create their next problem.

They continue operating as Builders in a company that now requires something different.

So they jump into decisions that no longer require them.

They correct instead of coaching.

They work harder instead of stepping back.

They tell themselves they are being responsible.

But what they are actually doing is holding the company in its past stage of development.

Not because they are controlling.

Because that is who they learned to be.

Their identity was built in survival.

And survival does not easily release its grip.

The Builder identity built and saved the company.

But if it never evolves, it eventually limits the company.

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

1320 Arrow Pointe Suite 501

Cedar Park Tx 78613

512-269-8023 jack@stanleycoaching.com

Want to know more clink the link below

The Maintainer Step 2 of Entrepreneur Essential and Dangerous

Tue, 10 Mar 2026 21:14:31 GMT

First the Builder. Then the Maintainer. A critical level that must be succeessfully Completed

The Three Archetypes of an Entrepreneur – Part 2

The Maintainer

When a company stabilizes, a second identity often emerges.

Not as intense as the Builder.
Not as chaotic.
More structured.
More measured.

This is The Maintainer.

The Maintainer protects what was built.

Revenue becomes predictable.
A team exists.
Systems begin to form.

The goal is no longer survive.
The goal becomes sustain.

On the surface, this stage looks mature.
And in many ways, it is.

But this stage is also dangerous.

Because the Maintainer can easily drift back into Builder behavior.

When something slips, he jumps in.
When someone struggles, he takes over.
When results dip, he pushes harder.

He tells himself it’s leadership

But if he stays in Builder mode during this stage, he creates dependence.

The staff does not grow.
Leaders do not develop.
Confidence does not deepen.

They wait for him.

Slowly the company becomes conditioned to his presence instead of strengthened by his absence.

That can kill a company.

Not suddenly.
But structurally.

Because if the business only works when the founder is fully engaged, it is fragile—no matter how much revenue it produces.

The Maintainer’s real job is not simply to keep things running.

It is to build depth.

Depth in leadership.
Depth in systems.
Depth in accountability.
Depth in culture.

And this requires something that feels uncomfortable for most entrepreneurs:

Stepping back.

Stepping back long enough for others to stretch.
Allowing slower decisions.
Allowing mistakes you would not have made.
Allowing leaders to grow.

At first, this feels inefficient.

But it is necessary.

Staying too long in Builder mode prevents depth.
Staying too long in Maintainer mode creates stagnation.

That is why the Maintainer stage must be transitional.

Its purpose is not comfort.
Its purpose is infrastructure.

Build the systems.
Build the bench.
Build the leaders.

Then move.

Because the longer you camp here, the more the organization mirrors your caution.

And caution does not scale.

The Builder had to move fast to survive.

The Maintainer must move intentionally to stabilize.

But the entrepreneur who stops here will eventually feel the mud again.

Because stability without expansion turns into slow decline.

The Maintainer is necessary.

But it is not the destination.

The next evolution — The Multiplier — requires something far more demanding:

Letting go of being the center of gravity.

And that is the real test.

Because the entrepreneur must eventually become the Multiplier…

Or remain the Maintainer for decades.

Jack Stanley, B.C.C.
Stanley Coaching LLC
Serving Austin, Texas and clients across the United States
www.stanleycoaching.com
Jack@stanleycoaching.com
512-269-8023. Copyright March 2026

The Multiplier. the Third Level of an Entreneur

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 21:29:15 GMT

The Multiplier few Entrepreneurs reach This Level..

The Three Lives of an Entrepreneur – Part 3

The Multiplier

At some point in the life of every successful entrepreneur, a quiet but profound shift must occur.

You must become someone different.

Not the Builder.
Not the Maintainer.

You must become the Multiplier.

The Builder creates motion.
The Maintainer creates structure.

But the Multiplier creates scale.

By the time an entrepreneur reaches this stage, something important has already happened. The company works. Systems exist. Processes are in place. Leaders have emerged. The business can function without the founder pushing every decision forward.

And that is exactly where many entrepreneurs become stuck.

Because the skills that built the company are no longer the skills required to grow it.

In the first life, the entrepreneur is the Builder.

Everything depends on them.
They sell. They solve problems. They work long hours. They create momentum where none existed.

Builders thrive on urgency, creativity, and sheer determination.

Without the Builder, the company would never exist.

But Builder energy, when held too long, eventually becomes destructive.

Builders often struggle to release control. They remain the smartest person in every room, the final decision maker in every meeting, and the center of gravity for the entire company.

And that becomes a ceiling.

The Maintainer Created Stability

The second life of an entrepreneur is the Maintainer.

This is where systems are built. Roles are defined. Procedures are documented. Accountability structures are created.

The Maintainer brings order to the chaos that Builders naturally create.

This phase is necessary. Without it, growth collapses under its own weight.

But staying too long in Maintainer mode produces another problem.

The business becomes stable… but stagnant.

It protects what exists rather than expanding what is possible.

Which leads to the third and most difficult transformation.

The Multiplier Must Replace Himself

The Multiplier does something that feels deeply uncomfortable to many founders.

He replaces himself.

Not physically.
Strategically.

The Multiplier builds Builders.

The Multiplier develops Maintainers.

The Multiplier creates leaders who can create other leaders.

The center of gravity shifts from “me” to “us.”

The entrepreneur’s value is no longer measured by how much they personally accomplish.

It is measured by how much others accomplish without them.

This Is Where Many Entrepreneurs Hesitate

Because this stage requires letting go of control at a deeper level.

The Multiplier must allow:

Different approaches
Different decisions
Different leadership styles

Sometimes even decisions they would not have made.

And that is not weakness.

That is multiplication.

The Multiplier becomes something new:

A motivator.
A teacher.
A driver of vision.
A patient mentor.

They stop solving every problem and start developing people who solve problems.

Your Company Cannot Grow Beyond You

At this stage, the real constraint in the business is no longer strategy, systems, or market opportunity.

It is the emotional maturity of the leader.

If the founder remains controlling, the company will quietly lose its strongest people.

Great leaders do not stay where they are micromanaged.

They leave.

And the company is left with those who comply rather than those who build.

That is stagnation disguised as loyalty.

Multiplication requires something harder:

Trust.

The Rewards of Multiplication

When the Multiplier stage is embraced, something powerful begins to happen.

The organization becomes capable of expanding beyond the founder’s personal capacity.

From multiplication comes freedom.

Time freedom.
Strategic freedom.
Emotional freedom.
Financial expansion.

And something else.

The deep satisfaction of watching people grow into leaders who were once simply employees.

But Skipping Stages Is Dangerous

Trying to multiply before building depth creates chaos.

Remaining a Builder too long creates burnout.

Camping in Maintainer mode creates plateau.

Each stage has its time.

But eventually the entrepreneur must evolve again.

If not, friction begins to appear.

Energy drops.
Vision narrows.
Turnover rises.
Growth slows.

The business cannot outgrow its leader.

The Three Lives of an Entrepreneur

The Builder proves the idea.

The Maintainer stabilizes the organization.

The Multiplier expands the future.

The real question is not whether your company can grow.

The real question is whether you are willing to grow with it.

Stanley Coaching works with entrepreneurs at each of these stages.

Many leaders seek help only after burnout, overwhelm, or frustration sets in. But the greatest advantage often comes from recognizing the stage you are in before the pressure forces the change.

Because when the leader evolves, the company can evolve with them.

—
Jack Stanley, B.C.C.
Entrepreneur | Coach
Stanley Coaching LLC
www.stanleycoaching.com
512-269-8023. Copyright 2026

Some Convenient Information

Sat, 27 Sep 2025 18:21:41 GMT

Our Coaching Rationale

The Body Remembers:

How Coaching Unlocks the Hidden Source of Pain: The Basis of Our Coaching

Introduction: Our Rationale in Coaching.

When most people think of trauma or stress, they imagine it as a mental or emotional weight. But neuroscience, and decades of human experience, tell us something deeper: the body remembers what the mind tries to forget (van der Kolk, 2014).

Many of the pains we carry—tight shoulders, aching backs, stomach knots, even foot pain—are not caused by purely physical strain. They are often the stored residue of unresolved emotional experiences. This is the work of the subconscious mind. When it cannot fully process a traumatic or high-stress moment, it tucks the memory away not only in the psyche, but also in the body. And until that hidden stress is released, it keeps dripping tension into our system, wearing us down over time.

Unchecked stress doesn’t just create tension—it can also cause weight gain or weight loss by disrupting cortisol and metabolism (Epel et al., 2001). Either way, the body breaks down under the burden.

Symptoms of Buried Stress

When stress and trauma are buried rather than released, the symptoms don’t just show up physically—they bleed into every part of life:

Rapid, seemingly unstoppable thinking (the mind loops and won’t shut off).
Loss of sleep because of that racing thought loop.
A strong sense of imposter syndrome—never feeling “enough.”
Sometimes even perfectionism that drives unrealistic standards.

I once visited a new client in their home. It was a total hoarder’s paradise—clutter everywhere. Yet this person was probably a 10 on the perfectionism scale. The discrepancy between how they lived and how they judged themselves kept them trapped in reliving the pain of the past.

Sometimes we even hold onto pain as if it will protect us. But what it really does is lock us into cycles that exhaust both mind and body.

Where Trauma Lives

The subconscious doesn’t just store trauma in the brain—it often “files” it in the body (LeDoux, 1996; Schacter, 1992).

Some feel it in the chest or heart area (tightness, heaviness).
Others carry it in the stomach (knots, nausea).
Many experience it in the back, neck, or shoulders (tension, stiffness).

I call this the cat shit effect. The subconscious buries trauma like a cat buries its waste. Out of sight, out of mind. But the problem remains. The buried trauma becomes a silent leak of stress chemicals, a slow drip of cortisol and adrenaline that the body endures day after day.

We need to be more like dogs—open up, let the emotions out, and move on—not endlessly rebury the same mess.

My Story of Physical Pain

After a devastating business failure years later, I thought I had “handled it well.” I kept moving forward. But soon, I developed intense plantar fasciitis. Walking became painful. I tried every physical treatment—stretching, shoes, therapy—with little relief.

It wasn’t until I processed the deep emotional stress of that season—acknowledging and releasing it—that the physical pain began to fade. No new exercise fixed it. Emotional healing did. The same was true with back and neck pain in other stressful seasons of my life.

The Coaching Connection

Here’s the good news: you don’t have to live with buried trauma forever. Coaching provides tools to access the subconscious, interrupt old patterns, and release the weight both emotionally and physically.

Techniques such as:

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) – shifting the way the mind codes and recalls experiences.
Neural Associative Conditioning – rewiring triggers and responses.
Hypnosis – working directly with the subconscious to dissolve old patterns (Kirsch et al., 1995).
Time Line Therapy™ – clearing the emotional charge from past events.

Milton Erickson, the father of modern hypnotherapy, once said:

“Patients are patients because they are out of rapport with their own unconscious… The task of therapy is to help them reestablish that connection.”

This is the essence of great coaching—we help people reconnect with the power of their subconscious, not to relive pain but to release it.

Cloe Madanes, pioneer of strategic therapy, reminds us:

“Every problem is a solution to another problem.”

Many of the pains we carry—whether physical tension, perfectionism, or feelings of not being enough—are really old strategies the subconscious created to try to protect us. Coaching gives us new strategies that heal instead of harm.

A Final Thought

Great coaching does not require you to relive the experiences of the past. It simply teaches you how to release the emotions attached to them. Change the story, and you change the impact.

The body remembers—but it can also be set free.

Reflection Prompts

Where do I carry stress or pain in my body?
What event or season might be connected to that sensation?
Am I holding onto pain as a way to protect myself?
What would it feel like to release that old emotion without reliving the event?

References

van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.
LeDoux, J. (1996). The Emotional Brain: The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life. Simon & Schuster.
Schacter, D. L. (1992). Implicit memory: History and current status. Journal of Experimental Psychology: Learning, Memory, and Cognition, 18(3), 501–518.
Damasio, A. (1996). The somatic marker hypothesis and the possible functions of the prefrontal cortex. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 351(1346), 1413–1420.
Epel, E. S., et al. (2001). Stress may add bite to appetite in women: a laboratory study of stress-induced cortisol and eating behavior. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 26(1), 37–49.
Sarno, J. E. (1991). Healing Back Pain: The Mind-Body Connection. Warner Books.
Kirsch, I., Montgomery, G., & Sapirstein, G. (1995). Hypnosis as an adjunct to cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy: A meta-analysis. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 63(2), 214–220.
Levine, P. (1997). Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma. North Atlantic Books.
Erickson, M. H. (1980). Collected Papers of Milton H. Erickson on Hypnosis. Irvington Publishers.
Haley, J. (1973). Uncommon Therapy: The Psychiatric Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D. W. W. Norton & Company.
Madanes, C. (1981). Strategic Family Therapy. Jossey-Bass.

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

The Client Who Was NOT Hypnotized

Thu, 11 Sep 2025 15:51:28 GMT

Hypnosis with out Hocous Pocus: Why results matter more than depth

Hypnosis Without the Hocus Pocus

“I can’t be hypnotized.”

“I don’t believe in hypnosis.”

I hear these objections often. Usually, they come from intelligent, independent people who think they’re immune to influence. The assumption is that hypnosis means losing control, being forced into trance, or surrendering to someone else’s power.

The truth is simpler: hypnosis isn’t about control. It’s about focus. And the best hypnosis rarely feels mysterious. It often feels ordinary—like a natural conversation. The real measure of hypnosis isn’t how it feels in the chair but what changes afterward.

The Man Who “Wasn’t Hypnotized”

Not long ago, I worked with a man in his late forties. He’d lost motivation, lived in fear, and carried a heavy “I am not enough” belief. He came to me not just to think about retiring from his career, but to retire an entire way of living.

We agreed on a ten-hour immersion session. Sometimes change doesn’t happen in small doses. Extended focus strips away distraction and gives the mind time to adapt to new possibilities.

At first, he chose to shut his eyes, as most people expect to do. Later, he kept them open. Either way, it never became a contest about following my instructions—the process was his, not mine.

Every so often, he’d announce, “I am not hypnotized.”

Each time, I smiled and replied, “Perfect. It’s good to know where you are. Let’s keep going.”

There was no power struggle. I wasn’t aiming to drag him into a “deeper state.” My approach is logical but flexible, shifting with the client in front of me. I layered suggestions, tied them to the outcomes he wanted, and applied leverage—reminding him why the changes mattered.

Why Immersion Works

Many hypnotists rely on scripts—induction routines, deepening sequences, rehearsed passages. I rarely use them.

Instead, I lean on immersion. Hours of focused work bypass resistance. The client doesn’t have to “feel hypnotized” for the process to be effective—they just need to stay with it long enough for their own mind to absorb new directions.

And even in shorter sessions—sometimes only an hour—this indirect, conversational style works. I’ll occasionally start with a simple three-minute focus exercise. It lowers resistance, speeds up the shift, and eliminates wasted time. From there, hypnosis blends seamlessly into conversation.

The Shift

By the end of the day, something shifted. My client stopped insisting he wasn’t hypnotized. Instead, he grew quiet and said:

“I don’t know what hypnosis is supposed to feel like… but I feel at peace. Very at peace.”

That peace was no accident. It was the product of immersion, of retiring the old story of fear and inadequacy, and rehearsing a new one.

As we finished, I closed with clarity and intention, not just to end the session but to set his trajectory forward:

“You are alive, awake, alert, joyous, and enthusiastic about life.”

An hour later, he called me from home. He’d driven safely, felt fully present, and sounded lighter—his voice carried something it hadn’t before: calm joy.

The Takeaway

So what is hypnosis?

It’s not about depth. Most effective hypnosis feels like ordinary awareness.
It’s not about control. Clients are in charge every moment.
It’s about results. If someone feels calmer, freer, more motivated—if they leave behind an old story and step into a new one—that’s hypnosis.

For me, it’s never about performance or ceremony. Whether eyes are open or closed, whether the session lasts ten hours or one, the goal is the same: to help people use their own mind in a way that works for them.

And if they leave feeling alive, awake, alert, joyous, and enthusiastic about life—the work has done its job . Jack Satanley B.C.C. www.stanleycoaching.com

A quick 5 minute Excerise to Make Your Day Extraordinary ...

Tue, 26 Aug 2025 19:02:05 GMT

ReFocus Now......

5-Minute Focus Ritual This Renew Your Focus and Keep You on Track

Minute 1 – Reset the Body

Stand tall, breathe deeply into your belly, exhale with force.
Do 3–5 slow, deliberate breaths. This clears stress and signals your nervous system: “It’s game time.”

Minute 2 – Power Move

Strike a strong posture—shoulders back, chin up, chest open.
Say out loud your chosen phrase (example: “I decide. I act. I succeed.”).
Anchor that posture and phrase together so your body knows this equals focus.

Minute 3 – The Pain Picture

Close your eyes. Imagine 5 years of staying unfocused, drifting, stuck.
Feel the cost—financial, emotional, physical. Let the discomfort build for a moment.

Minute 4 – The Pleasure Picture

Flip it. See yourself 5 years ahead, laser-focused and successful.
Visualize the freedom, confidence, impact, and lifestyle you’ve created.
Smile and feel it as if it’s already true.

Minute 5 – Square Your Thoughts

Picture your thoughts as a square (instead of random circles).
Let each corner slow your thinking down—clarity and calm flood in.
Then pick ONE priority for today. Say it out loud: “Today I will ____.”

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

I Thought NLP was great Then I learned This.....

Tue, 01 Jul 2025 18:17:32 GMT

Purpose is a Daily Exercise not a Destination

I Thought NLP Would Fix Everything—Until I Found the Real Power Source

My first experience with NLP was through a business owner I knew.
He was diving deep into the study—reading, applying, even teaching it in his business.

His business did improve.

But his personal life? Still a mess.
Lawsuits. Conflict. Drama. Same pain, different vocabulary.

That made me question the whole thing. If this works, why isn’t it working?

Then I went to a Tony Robbins event.
Boom.

Massive shift.

It was like something woke up in me.

I saw real change. Growth. Energy. I was hooked.

But even then… something was missing.

I Had the Faith, the Tools… and Still No Fuel

I had a strong faith.
I had success.
I had studied psychology, trained salespeople, built businesses, had a great marriage.

I wasn’t lost.

But I was… empty.

And at age 43, with all the knowledge and experience, why did it feel so hard to keep going?

I dug deeper. I studied more.

I became a Master Practitioner of NLP.
Master Practitioner of Time Line Therapy™.
Master Practitioner of Hypnotherapy.
More tools. More clarity. More insight.

But no spark.

You see, I was working the process… but the process wasn’t enough.
Because I hadn’t yet understood what had been driving me all along.

My Engine Was Fear, Disguised as Ambition

I didn’t realize how much of my life I’d been living from fear.

Not panic-in-the-corner fear—something sneakier.

Fear of failure.
Fear of being insignificant.
Fear of losing control.
Fear of....

And that fear showed up as drive.
It pushed me to conquer, fix, achieve, overcome.

Overcome.
That was my word.

I thought the point was to win over my past. Beat the odds. Prove myself.

But fear-based motivation eventually runs dry.

I had successful businesses.
A strong marriage.
A wall full of certifications.

And I was still out of gas.

Then I Found the Real Breakthrough

In my deeper training, preparing to coach others, I uncovered something that changed everything:

NLP is a process—but the real power isn’t in the process.

It’s in the insight.

The process can create change, but it’s insight that transforms.

I started to see that I wasn’t broken.

I didn’t need to fix myself.
I needed to know myself.

And not in the abstract sense—"Who am I?"—but in the grounded sense of congruence.

I started living from what was already true:

That I was created on purpose, for a purpose.
And that purpose wasn’t a mystery I had to chase—it was a reality I could walk in daily.

You Don’t Find Your Purpose. You Live It.

Here’s what I’ve come to believe:

The real motivation in life doesn’t come from hunting for your purpose.
It comes from knowing you’re already in it.

It’s not a finish line.
It’s not a spotlight moment.
It’s the quiet, powerful rhythm of waking up each day and saying:

“I am enough. I am here. I’m going to walk in alignment with what I know today.”

Yes—set goals. Grow your skills. Grow your life and your job.
But understand your purpose unfolds over time, like a tapestry.
And even the messy threads—the losses, the failures, the doubts—they’re all part of the beauty.

The Knowing Is the Fuel

These days, I don’t run on fear.
I don’t push out of desperation.
I don’t conquer to prove anything.

I lead from a deep knowing.

That I’m okay.
That I’m not broken.
That I’m walking in a story that’s unfolding, one day at a time.

And for me, that knowing is rooted in God.
Not just belief—but trust.
That I’m not here to perform, but to live, grow, and love well.

I used to think perfection was the goal.

Now I see: Perfection is a myth. Congruence is power.

Whether you’re in the peak or the pit, what matters most is this:

You know who you are.
You know you’re enough.
And you live like it—on purpose, from purpose.

I help people who have success find and their purpose in their daily lives…. Why? because it is my purpose….Let’s talk! Jack Stanley B.C.C.

What is your Fuel for Success

Mon, 23 Jun 2025 20:08:00 GMT

Are your running on the Right Fuel? Don't Run Out.

Are You Running on Empty?

When I first started my company, I hit it hard. My wife and I both did. Long hours. Late nights. All-in.
We were chasing success—at least that’s what we told ourselves.

But underneath the hustle, the real fuel was fear.
Fear of not being good enough.
Fear of being seen as a failure.
Fear that if we ever stopped, we’d lose everything.

And for a while… it worked. That kind of fear-driven energy will get things done. But eventually, it breaks down.

One day, just getting up to do the work felt heavy.
Not because the work had changed—but because we had.
We were distracted. Unmotivated. The magic was gone.

At first, we blamed burnout or exhaustion. We tried motivational tricks. We went to counseling. We pushed harder. Nothing worked.

Then we realized: it wasn’t burnout.
It was that our rocket fuel had run dry.
We had built our momentum by running from something—our doubts, our wounds, our insecurities.
But you can’t outrun your past forever.

What changed everything was learning to rewrite the meaning of our past decisions.
We stopped running and started leading.
We got honest about our strengths. We began using them intentionally, not frantically.
We stopped proving ourselves and started being ourselves—with confidence.

And something incredible happened…
We weren’t driven by fear anymore. We were powered by purpose. The challenge is in the HOW>>>>. Schedule a. free coaching exploration click this link below.

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

1320 Arrow Pointe Dr

Cedar Park Tx 78613

512-269-8023

Recognizing Success: Are You There Yet?

Fri, 09 May 2025 15:44:40 GMT

How to Recognize Success a Very Important Skill

Redefining Success: The Inner Compass

Success isn’t merely about external achievements like wealth or status. True success is reflected in the cultivation of inner qualities such as:

Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
Self-Discipline

These virtues serve as indicators of a life well-lived, guiding us toward fulfillment and harmony.

��

Embracing Unique Talents: Your Personal Gifts

Each individual possesses unique talents that, when recognized and nurtured, contribute to personal growth and the betterment of others. Examples include:

Artistic Abilities: Painting, music, dance
Analytical Skills: Problem-solving, strategic thinking
Interpersonal Skills: Empathy, communication
Physical Skills: Athleticism, craftsmanship
Innovative Thinking: Creativity, adaptability

Identifying and developing these talents allows for authentic self-expression and meaningful contributions to the community.

Navigating Challenges: Transforming Setbacks into Growth

Life’s obstacles often serve as catalysts for personal development. When faced with challenges:

Adopt a Curious Mindset: Instead of reacting negatively, approach situations with curiosity. Ask, “What can I learn from this?”
Reflect on Experiences: Analyze setbacks to uncover lessons that can inform future decisions.
Embrace Change: Recognize that endings often lead to new beginnings, opening doors to unforeseen opportunities.

By reframing difficulties as learning experiences, we foster resilience and continuous growth.

The Journey of Knowing and Growing

At the heart of this philosophy is the pursuit of a deeper understanding of oneself and a connection with the divine. This journey involves:

Self-Discovery: Engaging in introspection to uncover personal values and purpose.
Spiritual Growth: Seeking a relationship with a higher power to guide actions and decisions.
Service to Others: Utilizing personal gifts to positively impact the lives of those around us.

This path leads to a fulfilling life characterized by inner peace and a sense of purpose.

��

Practical Affirmations for Daily Life

To maintain focus on these principles, consider incorporating the following affirmations into your daily routine:

“I am guided by love and compassion in all my interactions.”
“Challenges are opportunities for growth and learning.”
“My unique talents are valuable and contribute to the greater good.”
“I trust in the journey and remain open to new possibilities.”

Regularly affirming these statements reinforces a mindset aligned with true success.

Beginning actively recognizing success will increase your growth and you success. Success is not a dollar amount, not a things you own amount, it is a bit deeper.

Would you like a work sheet to find your true voice for success. Click here

Hidden Killers. Wrecking Your Life

Thu, 01 May 2025 21:53:36 GMT

Fear, Anxiety, Anger and Stress

The Hidden Killers: FAAS – Fear, Anxiety, Anger, and Stress

Let’s just get real for a second.

You’re not broken. But you might be hijacked.

Hijacked by four emotional states that were originally designed to keep you alive—but when left unchecked, they slowly kill your freedom, your joy, your peace, and yes… your health.

I call them the Hidden Killers:
Fear. Anxiety. Anger. Stress. FAAS.

These aren’t just emotions. They’re physiological events.
Fear and anger have real jobs—fight, flight, protect, survive. But when they get stuck in your system? When they’re your go-to response for anything uncertain, uncontrollable, or unfair?
You’re no longer protected.
You’re imprisoned.

Let me be blunt: most people aren’t “managing” these emotions. They’re marinating in them.
And the system loves it.

Turn on the news. You're being sold fear like it’s on clearance.

Anxiety is big business. Fear drives ratings. Anger fuels clicks. Stress sells medication.

You’re being trained to stay stuck—so you stay watching, buying, reacting, and doubting yourself.

What if the answer isn't management?

What if the answer is release?

You don’t "manage" a poisonous snake in your house. You get it the heck out.

Release begins when you get honest. About life. About death. About the fact that you control far less than you think—and that’s okay

But here’s the paradox:

When you accept how little control you have, you realize how much influence you carry.

You can’t control the world.
But you can control how you walk through it.
And that changes everything.

When you release the grip of FAAS, something happens.
You become clear.

You start making better decisions—financially, emotionally, relationally.
You start loving more, reacting less.
You stop white-knuckling life and start living it.

It's not a motivational talk. It’s a nervous system shift.

And here’s what most people won’t tell you:
The cost of staying stuck in fear, anger, anxiety, and stress is astronomical —emotionally, relationally, physically.
High blood pressure. Heart problems. Autoimmune conditions. Mental fog. Emotional paralysis. Marriages lost. Opportunities missed.

Freedom isn’t just possible. It’s cheaper and a lot more fun!

Freedom is Cheaper than meds, therapy bills, broken relationships, or a life half-lived.

You don’t need hype. You need help.
And help exists—from people who don’t just talk mindset but know how to help you flip the switch in your body and mind.

I help people rewire that switch.
Not with theories—but with tools that work.
I’ve seen people shift out of fear, stress, and rage not over years—but in days, sometimes minutes.

When then the weight finally lifts, you don’t just breathe easier…
You live freer

Freedom. Men have fought wars and some have died for freedom and most of us live shakled in our own fear.

Jack Stanley B.C.C

Click here for a free coaching intro session

Circle with in A Circle thinking

Tue, 15 Apr 2025 17:58:47 GMT

Circles to Squares for Clarity

Life’s challenges often feel like an endless cycle, much like the imagery evoked in “The Windmills of Your Mind”:

“Round like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel

Never ending or beginning on an ever-spinning reel.” (Windmill of your mind)

This perpetual motion mirrors the repetitive patterns of stress, anxiety, and self-doubt that many experience. Events such as sudden illness, loss of a loved one, personal trauma, or feelings of rejection can trap us in these cycles. These experiences may lead to thoughts like “I am not enough” or “I don’t belong,” creating a mental loop that’s hard to escape. It just doesn’t seem to stop….

The circular thinking for many if us creates restlessness a sense of never being able to stop. This thinking can interrupt our sleep, our peace and our ability to feel loved, or enough or wanted. And it can be changed. Quickly.

M. Scott Peck, in his seminal work The Road Less Traveled, begins with a profound truth:

“Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it.”

By acknowledging and accepting life’s inherent difficulties, we can begin to break free from these cycles.

Strategies to Break the Cycle:

Release the Need for Answers: Not all events have clear explanations. Accepting that some situations are beyond our understanding can alleviate the pressure to find meaning in every hardship.
Extract Positive Learnings: Every challenge presents an opportunity for growth. For instance, feelings of isolation can teach resilience and the importance of seeking supportive communities.
Align Expectations with Reality: Unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment. Recognizing that life is unpredictable helps in developing resilience. As Peck notes, accepting life’s difficulties means they no longer hold power over us.
Recognize Life’s challenges do not limit you. They empower you. You can create more, develop a wider range of thinking. More possibilities and then more discernment, more clarity and most important less freezing up.

One way to move from the circular thinking that seems to rage in your head is to try this exercise. Get a feeling or vision of the thoughts racing in a circle in your mind. Then speed them up. After they are moving fast an it seems nothing else can get in. Change the circle to a square, where you have to slow down at the corners to make the turn. Focus on the square. Most find their thoughts slow down and answers and positive actions can arise. Try it and let me know in the comments how it worked.

By embracing these thoughts and approach we can transform our perspective, turning life’s windmills from obstacles into opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

If you look at this and still have the circular thinking the never ending race in your mind. You can find help with the right coach. How to release the unreleasable it a hall mark of what we do. The challenge is not the thinking it is the “how” . Want to explore this in more depth scheduled a free coaching introduction.

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

Free Intro to Coaching

Mid Life Reboot

Tue, 08 Apr 2025 19:08:39 GMT

Don't throw the baby out with the bath water....

Midlife Crisis or Midlife Reboot? How to Realign Your Life Before It Falls Apart

Life Out of Alignment Wears You Down

Picture driving with your wheels out of alignment. You still move forward—but the ride is rough. You burn fuel. You wear out parts. You fight the wheel every mile.

That’s what life feels like when your values, needs, and direction don’t line up.
Eventually, something breaks—your joy, your drive, or your relationships.

Alignment isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity.

3.5 Powerful Ways to Turn Midlife Confusion Into Clarity

1. Step Back Before You Step Away
Pause. Don’t quit or blow things up. Ask:

What need is going unmet?
What’s the real issue underneath this urge to escape?

2 . Reconnect With Who You Really AreBefore the roles—parent, provider, partner—you were you.
Get back in touch. Journal. Create. Move. Remember.

3. Audit Your Needs, Not Just Your Life
Your life may look fine, but how well is it meeting your core human needs?

Rate yourself 1–10 on these:

Certainty: ___________
Variety: ___________
Significance: ___________
Connection: ___________
Growth: ___________
Contribution: ___________

Low ratings = misalignment.
Misalignment = frustration.
Realignment = freedom.

3.5 Get a Coach Who Knows the Way Out

Not a cheerleader. But A guide.

Someone who can help you decode your life, rewire limiting beliefs, and build a next chapter that’s powerful, not just possible.

Your Midlife Crisis Is a Wake-Up Call.
Don’t just hit snooze. Wake up—to the life you were meant to live.

Schedule your free intro coaching session today.
Clarity, alignment, and purpose are one conversation away.

Jack Stanley B.C.C. Let's talk soon.

Healing Past Pain Painlessly

Tue, 25 Mar 2025 15:49:33 GMT

Healing the Past Painlessly

Heal Emotional Pain at the Root

Using NLP & Time Line Therapy™ to Break Free From Shame, Trauma, and “Not Enough”

Have you ever asked yourself...

“Why do I keep shutting down when things get good?”
“Why do I feel unworthy, no matter how much I achieve?”
“Why do I always carry this heavy emotional weight?”

You’re not broken.
You’re not too emotional.
You’re not the story your pain has been telling you.

You may be carrying unresolved emotional pain and a shame-based identity —and you may not even realize it.
But the good news is: it can be healed.

�� What if healing didn’t have to take years?

Using Time Line Therapy™ and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) , we go beyond talk.
We help you release emotional pain stored in your unconscious mind—without reliving the trauma—and rewire the beliefs that have been holding you back.

You won’t just “cope.” You’ll change.

How It Works

1. Find the Root Cause of the Pain

Emotional patterns like shame, fear, and self-sabotage have a starting point—usually early in life.

Using Time Line Therapy™, we gently guide you to identify the very first time your unconscious mind felt that emotion.
You won’t relive the pain. You’ll view it from a safe distance, like watching a scene from above.

2. Release the Emotion—Without Reliving It

Most traditional methods ask you to talk about pain.

Time Line Therapy™ allows you to let it go .

You’ll release years—sometimes decades—of anger, sadness, fear, hurt, guilt, or shame in a matter of minutes.

Clients often say:

“I feel like a weight has been lifted.”
“I remember what happened—but it doesn’t hurt anymore.”

3. Rewire the Belief That Was Formed

After pain comes a belief:

“I’m not good enough.”
“I’ll never be loved.”
“I can’t trust anyone.”

Using NLP, we help you identify and change that internal belief at the unconscious level.
We don’t just tell you a new story. We help your mind believe it’s true.

4. Rewrite Your Identity and Future

Once pain and limiting beliefs are gone, something incredible happens:

✨ You feel peace.
✨ You stop hustling for love, validation, or approval.
✨ You finally feel free to be you.

And with NLP, we go even further—we help you install new goals and beliefs into your future so your unconscious mind pulls you forward.

Who Is This For?

This work is for you if:

✅ You’ve done talk therapy but still feel stuck
✅ You struggle with shame, self-doubt, or overthinking
✅ You’re successful on the outside but empty inside
✅ You know something needs to change—and you’re ready to do the deeper work

What Clients Say

“After just one session, I felt more peace than I’ve felt in 20 years.”
“I’ve read all the books, gone to therapy, but THIS actually helped me heal.”
“I finally understand why I’ve been stuck—and now I’m not.”

Ready to Heal What’s Been Holding You Back?

You don’t have to carry this pain any longer.
There is a way to finally feel free, worthy, and whole—without spending years in the past.

Let’s go to the root. Release what no longer serves you. And rewrite your life.

�� SCHEDULE A FREE EXPLORATION SESSION

�� Learn More About ReWire for Life Coaching Intensives

Starting a new career on your own? Why you need to be a Hunter Gather.

Mon, 24 Mar 2025 21:01:39 GMT

Go where you have not gone before to find success like you have never had before.

Why You Need to Become a Hunter-Gatherer to Build Your Business

Let’s talk about what most business schools, coaching certifications, and professional trainings won’t tell you.

Whether you’re starting a coaching practice, law firm, creative business, or real estate career—there’s a hard truth waiting for you: Regardless of your degree, your license, and your training don’t build your business. Hunting does.

That may sound primal—and it is. If you’re launching something of your own, you’ve left the safety of the corporate cave. There’s no payroll department. No built-in clients. No marketing team. It’s just you, the wilderness, and whether or not you ate this week.

And yet, people spend tens of thousands of dollars learning how to be a coach, be an attorney, or be a financial advisor—but never learn how to hunt.

That’s why the failure rates are so high:

• 80% of restaurants close within five years.

• 80% of real estate agents quit before they ever earn a living.

• Thousands of new coaches, consultants, and creatives never get off the ground.

It’s not because they’re bad at what they do. It’s because no one taught them how to hunt.

The Real Reason Most People Never Launch:

I often work with people who are launching second careers—usually in their late 30s to mid-50s. They’re leaving corporate or educational institutions, looking for freedom, meaning, and a business they can own.

And I’ve seen a pattern.:

They have experience.

They have training.

They’ve got something valuable to offer.

But they get stuck. Not because they’re lazy. Not because they don’t want it.

They get stuck because they don’t know how to go out and get it.

They weren’t trained to think like a hunter.

In a job, food comes to you (in the form of a paycheck). In business, you have to find the prey, track it, understand it, and make the offer. Over and over again.

Most people aren’t emotionally or mentally prepared for that level of pursuit.

You often Can’t Build a Business from Behind a Screen

Once people leave the safety net, they tend to do what I call displacement exercises—activities that look like work but don’t actually grow the business.

You know what I’m talking about:

• Tinkering with your website

• Adjusting your logo (again)

• Watching another training video

• Attending another virtual summit

• Perfecting your intake form

All while telling yourself, “I’m building my business.”

No, you’re not. You’re hiding. You’re staying busy to avoid what you’re really afraid of: hearing no.

Sales/Marketing is a form of Hunting. And Hunting Means Hearing “No.”

One of the best mindset books I’ve ever read is Go For No! by Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz.

The core idea? The more “no’s” you hear, the closer you are to “yes.”

This is where most professionals fail. We were trained to avoid failure. But in business, failure is the path. That’s where the feedback lives. That’s where the refinement happens.

You have to be willing to:

• Go where your potential clients hang out

• Learn how they talk, think, and decide

• Show up consistently with something valuable

• Build trust, connection, and credibility over time

And you have to be okay with hearing:

• “Not right now.”

• “I’m not ready.”

• “I already have someone.”

That’s hunting. That’s business.

And that’s where the real growth happens—not just in your business, but in you.

Here are 5.5 Ways to Stop Hiding and Start Hunting

1. Pick one offer and one audience.

Clarity kills confusion. Focus gives you power. If you’re selling to everyone, you’re selling to no one.

2. Build the daily habit of outreach.

Your business lives and dies by the number of meaningful conversations you’re having. You don’t need a giant. audience you need consistent action.

3. Track your numbers.

How many people did you reach out to this week? How many calls booked? How many offers made? Don’t guess. Track it like your life depends on it.

4. Sharpen your message.

You should be able to say who you help, what problem you solve, and why it matters—in under 30 seconds. Make it memorable, not mechanical.

5. Build your emotional stamina.

Every hunter feels fear, doubt, and discomfort. The successful ones don’t wait for confidence—they build it through action.

5.5. Get a real coach.

Avoid being just another certification junkie. A coach who’s built something. Someone who can see your blind spots and call you out on your hiding. That kind of support will save you years of wandering in the wilderness.

You Already Have the Skill. Do You Have the Drive?

You might already be an expert. You may already have something powerful to offer.

But if you’re not hunting—every week, every day—you’re not building a business. You’re waiting. Hoping.

The wild doesn’t reward hope. It rewards hunters.

Need help becoming a hunter in your business?

This is exactly what I help people do inside my coaching intensives. If you’re ready to leave the cave and go get the life you want, let’s talk.

Start with a Coaching Exploration session. IT is free. click below.

Wouldn't it be great to have someone on your journey, with sales, and business and personal coaching experience!

Jack Stanley. B. C. C

Resilience the Super Life Hack

Fri, 14 Mar 2025 17:19:24 GMT

Sometimes we need some help and some times we can do it on our own. Wisdom is knowing when.

Sean’s Story: A Lesson in Resilience and Adaptability

In the early 1980s, the employment world was changing rapidly. Factories and manufacturing plants were shutting down, and jobs that had once been secure were disappearing. My good friend Sean a husband and father of 2 daughters , was caught in this wave of economic change.

Sean was a lumber inspector for a large flooring company. He hadn’t graduated from high school, but he was an avid reader, constantly expanding his knowledge in different areas. When his company shut down, he found himself out of work, facing a job market where opportunities were scarce, especially for someone without formal education.

For about a year, Sean searched for work but found only minimum-wage jobs that wouldn’t allow him to build a stable future. It seemed like his options were limited—until he started looking at his hidden skills.

He realized that over the years, he had picked up welding skills, had a natural talent for art, and had a strong spatial perception—but he had never thought about how these skills could be applied professionally. Then, he saw an opportunity: a job opening for a pipe fitter at a major worldwide construction company.

The problem? He had never done pipe fitting before.

Instead of giving up, Sean did what he did best—he started reading and learning on his own. He found a book called The Pipe Fitter’s Blue Book, a technical manual filled with instructions on how to measure, cut, and fit pipes. There weren’t many formal training programs available, so he made the book his teacher.

To get hired, Sean needed to pass a hands-on test, where he would have to correctly cut and fit pipe at precise angles. He knew he wasn’t fully prepared, so he came up with a creative solution.

On test day, he brought his lunch box—with a secret false bottom where he hid his Pipe Fitter’s Blue Book. When he was given a task he didn’t fully understand, he would excuse himself to the bathroom, quickly study the relevant section, take notes, and return to complete the test.

It worked. He passed.

Sean got the job and went on to have a high-paying, stable career with the company. His ability to self-educate, recognize his transferable skills, and adapt to new challenges led to financial security and, eventually, a comfortable retirement.

⸻

Analysis: Resilience and the Law of Requisite Variety in Action

Sean’s story is a perfect example of how resilience and adaptability can turn uncertainty into opportunity.

1. The Power of Self-Education

Sean’s ability to learn independently gave him an advantage in a world where training was limited. Instead of waiting for someone to teach him, he took control of his own education.

Lesson: In today’s rapidly changing job market, self-education is more important than ever. With AI and automation reshaping industries, those who continuously learn—through books, online courses, or hands-on experience—will stay ahead.

2. Recognizing Transferable Skills

Initially, Sean didn’t realize how his welding, artistic ability, and spatial perception could translate into a new career. But once he connected the dots, he saw that these skills made him a strong candidate for pipe fitting.

Lesson: Many people underestimate their own abilities. A factory worker with mechanical skills might transition into robotics maintenance. A retail worker with strong interpersonal skills might excel in sales, coaching, or consulting. The key is to identify and reframe existing skills in new ways.

3. Resourcefulness and Creative Problem-Solving

Sean’s false-bottom lunch box strategy was more than just a clever trick—it showed his ability to think on his feet and find solutions under pressure. Instead of panicking when he faced challenges, he found a way to bridge his knowledge gap in real-time.

Lesson: Success often comes from solving problems creatively. Today, those who embrace AI tools, leverage online resources, and find unconventional ways to learn will outpace those who wait for someone else to train them.

4. The Law of Requisite Variety: Adaptability = Control

The Law of Requisite Variety states that “the person with the most flexibility controls the system.”

Sean demonstrated this law perfectly:

• Instead of resisting change, he adapted.

• Instead of limiting himself to jobs he had already done, he expanded his options.

• Instead of relying on formal education, he found his own way to learn.

Lesson: In today’s world, people who adapt quickly will control their outcomes. Those who refuse to evolve—whether in careers, business, or personal life—will struggle.

5. Taking Action Amidst Uncertainty

Many people get stuck in indecision when faced with change. Sean, however, took action even when he didn’t have all the answers. He didn’t wait until he was an expert—he started, learned on the way, and figured it out as he went.

Lesson: The best way to prepare for change is to step into it, learn as you go, and adjust course when necessary. The future belongs to those who take action, not those who hesitate.

⸻

Final Thought: The Future Belongs to the Adaptable

Sean’s story isn’t just a tale of the past—it’s a blueprint for thriving in today’s world.

With AI, automation, and industry shifts, millions of people will face the same challenge Sean did: How do I adapt when my current skills become outdated?

The answer lies in:

• Learning new skills quickly.

• Recognizing hidden talents and transferable abilities.

• Thinking outside the box and solving problems creatively.

• Taking action even when the path isn’t clear.

The resilient and adaptable will not only survive change—they will use it to their advantage. Don't feel like you have resilience? We can help you. Sean's story was great. Many times we need great help in even recognizing our possibilities. You may be so wrapped in the current challenges you can't see the possibilities. Coaching is an excellent answer, it can save you time, save you from mistakes that could cost you thousands of dollars. A great coach will always benefit. you. Want to check it out? Sign up for a free coaching session. At www.stanleycoaching.c om. Jack Stanley is a Board Certified Coach that focus' on rapid life enhancement and change.

Click below to schedule a free coaching session .

Or Click HERE for a White Paper on Building Resilience now! 6.5 Ways to Build Resilience

The Super Power of Attention Deficit Syndrome: A Personal Look

Sat, 08 Mar 2025 22:15:17 GMT

A personal Prospective on ADD

ADD: A Personal Perspective By Jack Stanley B.C.C

As someone who has lived with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and worked through many of its challenges, I’ve come to see it not as a limitation but as a powerful asset. I’ve always been a bit outside the herd, inherently different in the way I think and approach problems. And that’s not a bad thing. In fact, it’s been one of my greatest strengths as a Board Certified Coach. My ability to see creative solutions, challenge conventional wisdom, and discern that the simplest answers are often the best has allowed me to help my clients in ways they never expected.

The Hidden Strengths of ADD

1. Creative Problem-Solving

One of the biggest advantages of having ADD is the ability to see connections others don’t. My brain naturally seeks out patterns, and creative answers often come easier than they do for others. This means I can often solve problems in ways that seem novel—but make perfect sense.

2. Thinking Differently

The world needs people who think differently, and that’s exactly what ADD fosters. In a business world where originality is rewarded, being wired differently allows me to spot opportunities and solutions others overlook .

3. The Power of Inclusion

I once worked with a client who was struggling in a corporate setting. A newer employee seemed to be positioning himself to take my client’s job, and it was causing him major stress. The simple answer—at least to me—wasn’t to resist, but to include the new hire, treating him as an asset rather than a threat. I told my client, “Act as if he found a diamond and is using it to benefit the company.” What seemed obvious to me was a revelation to him, and not only did he maintain his position, but he expanded his role within the company. That’s the power of ADD-style thinking—it allows us to break out of rigid thinking patterns and embrace creative, inclusive solutions .

ADD and Leadership: The CEOs with ADD

Many highly successful CEOs and entrepreneurs have ADD, proving that this condition can be an asset in leadership roles. Richard Branson (Virgin Group), David Neeleman (JetBlue Airways), and Paul Orfalea (Kinko’s) are just a few examples of business leaders who have leveraged their ADD strengths to build empires.

Entrepreneurs with ADD thrive because they:

S ee possibilities where others see limitations
Embrace risk-taking, which is essential for business growth
Find creative solutions to complex problems
Naturally think ahead, seeing future trends before they emerge

Rather than a hindrance, ADD can be a powerful driver of success, particularly in leadership roles that require adaptability and innovation .

Challenges That Come with ADD

Of course, ADD isn’t all upside. It comes with real challenges, such as:

Struggling with sustained attention on tasks that don’t excite us
Disorganization and forgetfulness
Impulsivity, which can lead to rushed decisions
Difficulty with time management

But recognizing these challenges is the first step toward overcoming them. ADD isn’t an excuse—it’s a puzzle to solve.

Hypnosis as a Tool to Help with ADD

One of the most effective tools I’ve used for managing ADD is hypnosis. It helps rewire the subconscious mind to create new patterns of focus and self-discipline.

How Hypnosis Helps:

Enhancing Focus – Hypnosis helps train the brain to sustain attention longer.
Controlling Impulsivity – It reprograms the subconscious mind to pause before acting.
Anchoring a Focused State – It associates a physical or mental cue (such as deep breathing) with entering a state of concentration.
Boosting Confidence – Many ADD individuals struggle with self-doubt. Hypnosis instills belief in our abilities. Contact us if you would like to know more about Hypnosis and ADD.

Final Thoughts: ADD as a Superpower

Rather than seeing ADD as a problem, I see it as an advantage. It allows me to think differently, creatively, and effectively. Yes, it makes me a bit outside the crowd, but that’s exactly where innovation happens. ADD isn’t a disorder—it’s a different operating system.

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

The Right Tools To Help!

Wed, 12 Feb 2025 20:01:12 GMT

Who Do I Help?

You Woke up this morning and then it started

The List. The clock ticking. The weight of everything you HAVE to do. But beneath it all there is something worse-that quiet relentless feeling that something is off. Maybe you're an imposter. Maybe you're just not enough. Or maybe it is. just plain fear.

You push it down. Take a deep breath and get moving- UNTIL it rises again, stopping you in your tracks. You refocus, try again, chase the dream-career, love, fulfillment- BUT it always slips through your fingers . The part that never lets you feel whole.

Energy drains. Defeat sets in. And then, after days or hours, some confidence returns- just enough to start the cycle again. Win Lose Lose....

EXHAUSTING ISN'T IT?

WE can break this in weeks, not months, imagine where you would be with out that voice holding you back.

LET'S MAKE IT REAL

Change Your Story and Attract a Fabulous Future

Sat, 16 Nov 2024 15:50:42 GMT

Change Your Story and Attract a Whole New World

Have you ever experienced real, transformative change? Did you notice how it impacted not just you but the people around you? Several years ago, I attended a Tony Robbins event called Unleash the Power Within (UPW). It was an incredibly powerful experience, especially for those facing life crises or feeling stuck. After the event, many of us stayed connected for a while, and I saw firsthand the profound changes people made. One woman returned home, filed for divorce, and completely transformed her life. Others went back to friends, spouses, or partners who were shocked by their new demeanor, even accusing them of joining a cult. Some old friends simply didn’t recognize them anymore.

One friend of mine was even told she was “too powerful,” and her husband asked her to leave.

I encountered similar reactions when I returned from UPW. I managed to increase my income by 90%. But I had seen these responses before—years earlier when my first wife and I, after saving for 12 years, built our dream home. A good friend, Mark, told me it was too lavish and said he couldn’t be friends with someone so extravagant. He never came around again.

Fast forward to Date with Destiny, another six-day event Tony Robbins offers. If you’ve attended a Robbins event, you know how active and dynamic they are. This time, my wife and I attended together, which meant we were on the same page. Early in the event, I noticed a man in his 50s wearing a red-checked flannel shirt, jeans, and work boots, standing with his hands in his pockets while everyone around him celebrated. He looked lost. I approached him and said, “Let me guess: your wife went to UPW, changed completely, and now you’re here to find the ‘Kool-Aid.’” He responded, “You’re damn right!” I told him, “You can get a full refund if you leave after the first day. But if you stay, you’ll either be celebrating with us or heading home. Give it a try!”

A few hours later, as the teachings started to resonate, he realized there was no “Kool-Aid” and began enjoying the event.

Our friends and family have stories and visions of who we are. When we disrupt those long-held stories, they’re forced to see us in a new way. I lost some family connections when I made significant changes in my life. One cousin even asked, “Why are you so happy all of a sudden?”

When you change, the world around you changes. But there’s more:

People will see you differently and either accept or reject the new you.

When you live as your authentic self and succeed, you attract like-minded people. I’ve had clients ask, “Why do I always attract losers?” Once they discovered their worth, embraced their lovability, and became intentional about who they were, new and meaningful connections formed. Many found love and began living fulfilling relationships.

You will intimidate some people. Remember, your most powerful self is living your truth with intention. Stay on your path. Some people may leave and return later; others may move on for good.

Keep growing and contributing. You’ll be surprised at the impact you have on people you don’t even know. Being your best self daily expands your influence and life satisfaction. You’ll find peace in your strength, persistence, and faith in life, God, and opportunity.

If you’re considering working with a coach, I’m here for you. Not only will you experience life changes, but you’ll also resolve lingering relationships, find more peace, gain self-confidence, and develop greater patience and love.

Just saying. Jack Stanley. B.C.C.

Finding Hope!

Wed, 30 Oct 2024 18:03:56 GMT

Finding Hope can Save Your Life!!!! But how do you get hope?

Finding Hope in Hopeless Situation

In the 1950's a researcher Curt Richter a Professor at Johns Hopkins did what is now a famous study. He had some rats. Domesticated, wild and wild rats. he placed them in a bucket of water and timed and observed their responses. Interestingly the rats all made it about the same length of time in the buckets. So his hypothesis that wild rats would live longer was not supported by the evidence. Then he tried another variant. Adding Hope to the equation.

This time, he put rats in buckets and just before they drown (in about the same amount of time before), he pulled them out dried them off and held them for a bit. Then placed them back in the water. After this experience their survival rate went from less than an hour to more than triple the time, and none of them "gave up" they kept trying till the end. Hope as defined in this study kept them going till the very end.

I find in coaching a simple question often opens up hope in my clients. They will say they have no hope about a situation the in which they are simply stuck. "No way out." they say. Then I will ask, "if there was a way out what would it look like?" The answers are often astounding. When you integrate the fear and doubt with the possibility of hope answers often come. I recall one client who said their relationship was hopeless. The energy was gone just hopeless no resolve. In a different question I asked if you found hope what would it be like. In less than 1 hour the answer to their hopeless situation was clear and present and in just a few days their world was changed to hope and anticipation. Their relationship had a sudden great new spark. You see if you ask the right questions with a belief there is an answer. Answers, come. Hope is always an inside job. However how to find hope may require some help. That is where coaching arrives. Lost your hope? Let's talk.

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

www.stanleycoaching.com

jack@stanleycoachig.com

Lets find hope!

Secrets to a Fulfilling Life

Wed, 21 Aug 2024 17:38:44 GMT

How to have a Fulfilling Life

4 Steps to Change Your Emotional Home from Negative to Positive Emotions

When people are asked to answer with in 10 seconds what one thing would impact their lives most wonderfully. The typical majority answer is to "win the lottery".. Most specify the 100 million or more lottery. The truth is in my coaching business I have found consistently that money is not a predictor of happiness or satisfaction or finding a fulfilling life. My clientele ranges from people who enjoy millions of dollars and those who enjoy a few thousand a year. Consider this: folks in the Pacific Island of Vanuatu are ranked some of the happiest people in the world without the income. Perhaps it is a matter of where their home is. Not their physical home, but their Emotional Home.

We all have an Emotional home. Your emotional home is the state you naturally return to—the feelings you experience most often. Whether you live in a place of joy or frequently find yourself in fear, anger, or sadness, you have the power to shift your emotional home. Here’s how:

1. Discover Your Emotional Patterns Start by identifying the emotions you experience most frequently. For at least one week, write down the emotions that show up repeatedly, such as fear, sadness, guilt, or anger. By doing this, you’ll gain insight into your emotional habits, which is the first step toward change.

2. Understand How Your Body Reacts to Each Emotion Emotions are deeply connected to your body. Notice how your body responds to different feelings. Do you clench your jaw when angry, or hunch your shoulders when stressed? Recognizing these physical cues helps you understand how your body reinforces negative emotions.

3. Identify Your Desired Emotional States Think about the emotions you want to experience more frequently. Do you long for more love, joy, confidence, peace, or kindness in your life? Identifying these preferred states gives you a clear target to aim for as you shift away from negative patterns.

4. Practice Shifting from Negative to Positive States One powerful way to change your emotions is by changing your physical state. Your posture, breathing, and movements influence your feelings. For example, standing tall, smiling, and taking deep breaths can naturally create feelings of confidence and happiness. When you catch yourself in a negative state, consciously shift your body and thoughts to align with the positive emotions you want to feel.

YOU CAN REALLY LEARN TO LIVE IN A BEAUTIFUL STATE. FINF RESILIENCE THAT CAN TAKE YOU THOUGH A LIFE TIME

Bonus: Get Coaching Support If you find it challenging to shift your emotional home, consider getting professional coaching. A coach can guide you through personalized techniques and strategies to help you sustain positive emotional states and create a fulfilling, resilient life. Ultimately, living a fulfilling life is about consistently returning to a flow of beautiful states, where positivity becomes your emotional default. Start small, practice daily, and watch your emotional home transform.

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

The big Secret. Master it and it will change your life!

Thu, 11 Jul 2024 18:34:05 GMT

The secret to success, is here now.

Several Years ago Earl Nightingale broke records with his all voice recording of The Strangest Secret. This simple concept had and has a great deal of power if you harness it. What is this secret?

It sounds simple actually, too simple. But like many things that appear simple, the truth is they are very deep, and require effort to accomplish. The effort to accomplish this secret will pay off in diamonds, happiness, and satisfaction in life. It when acted upon will create a harmonious relationship with most people. Understanding is simple, doing is not impossible, but will require your focus, your attention and your intention.

We Encourage intentional living. A way of walking through life with calm, and intentionality. We have found this opens most doors to success. Whether that success is in relaitionship, business, or your personal development, healing and Yes even in love. What is this secret? It simply this: "You are what you think about."

Change what you think about or as Tony Robbins would say change what you focus on, you can change your life. I mean really really change your life. Let me give you an example.

Many of us need an adversary. So we view ourselves as always in a fight. Fighting for "right" or what we believe in. The difficulty you will always find your self in a fight. Have you ever noticed that when you fight no one's opinion or beliefs gets changed? It leaves you with a big zero in the results column. Suppose you see life and relationships as a perfect place to calmly inflence others. To influence them to buy your products. Accept your coaching. Or buy your ideas. Or just be friends.

The other day some one asked me who my biggest competition was. I responded nothing. Most folks who think about coaching do nothing. I actually have no other competitor. Then do I fight against doing nothing? Or do I accept the challenge and find better and better ways to come along side and walk with my clients and potential clients. Not in war, but calm, love and understanding. What a difference it makes in our outcomes and satisfaction.

How do you apply this secret? Schedule a free coaching session on this site.

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

Fear and Loathing and Mud and Where You Are stuck.

toolsforyourlife17@gmail.com (Jack Stanley) — Fri, 17 May 2024 19:32:21 GMT

Is it time to break through to.......

So you attended the seminar and you felt great. Then a week or two later things get back to normal. You think "it wore off". That is not what happened at all. You have a whole life time of stories, and decisions about what you are and what you are not. They create an emotional thermostat and that is where you tend to want to live. Too happy is dangerous, too sad is not tolerable. Too much money is not manageable and too little is painful. What does this regulations have to do with you? Maybe you are stuck in the mud.

Several years ago we visited Alaska and came accross the mud flats. Every year someone gets on the flats and gets stuck in the mud. The mud is so dense once you are in it is almost impossible to get out then the tide rises. Simply you are stuck to death.

Are you Stuck To Death?

Similarly we have a whole lifetime of decisions and self evaluations that keep us where we are. Often to the point of truly believing "this is all there is". Our lives is the sum of our decisions about who and what we believe we are. This mud is most difficult to pull away from.

When you return from the seminar or meeting you are up and a small number actually break through. Most wind up where they were before they went. So it would seem it is as hopeless as being stuck in the Alaskan mud flats, frantically trying to get out before the tides consume us.

How do you make real lasting changes in your life. Get leverage. Have a reason or cause bigger than you as your motivation. Have a very intense why. Why do you want to be something more than what you have become. Who will you help how will you be if you can make the changes. How will it feel in your mind and body to make the changes.

Change your stories. Find a real empowering story and start to work on it. Are you the victim? Or you the overcomer. Both stories can hold you like the Alaskan mud. This is the greatest step. Many of us have such a rich history of things that hold us in place, we never overcome it. Till the tides start to rise. Then we simply rise to the minimum level to live.

Truly breaking through requires a great level work. We literally have to change your time line of your past to allow you to create a vibrant life and future.

Happy where you are? Stay there!

Going through a crisis? Great tools can create great outcomes.

Feel like there is more for you, just not accessing it well, maybe we need to talk.

Here are a few things to get you started. .

Asking Better questions. Like: Is this fearful thought really the truth?

How many times has it been true? or has it never happened?
Do these things always happen?
What if this is happening for me, not to me?
What can I learn from this?
As I breakthough and out of this fear or anger what better state would I choose.
What would I focus on to eliminate this fear or anger?
When is now a good time to face the fear, face the anger an break through it?
What is the truth? It is often not what we feel, it is often much better than what we feel.

Want to know more? Schedule a free coaching session with me on the web site. What if a few hours of coaching can change your life....for the Good.

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

Jack Stanley is a Board Certified Coach. A Master NLP, Hypnotherapy and Time Line ™ practitioner. He has a life time of experience from Business owner to sales training, to marriage coach to helping folks overcome additions. Want a well experienced life and business and relationship coach. I am it. Results are guaranteed* see the guarantee with each enrollment agreement.

They are wrong. Your success is not tied to the 5 closest friends you hang out with!

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 19:04:24 GMT

It has been said that you will be most like your 5 closest friends. In income, success and more. And while this may seem true on the first view, It is only part of the story! There is something much more important. It is where you live!

Not where you live in terms of address. That has little to do with success in life, business, love or relationship.

It is where you live emotionally. Emotions are the drivers of your life. We all have emotional thermostats. When life gets too much worse than we are use to living we will often do something about it. Maybe get depressed, get coaching or counseling, get medicated. But then if the emotional level gets too good we will do things to get it back to our point of stasis.

It is like setting your thermostat to 70 degrees. If it gets to 66 it is too cold or 74 it gets too how. 70 is the comfortable temp.

Where is your emotional thermostat? Is it feeling o.k. with brief peaks to a beautiful state and drops to mildly down state that we call normal? Or it is sad with the occasional peak of pleasant ness an brief states of depression.

Are you happy with living with your emotional thermostat? What if you could totally change your state to one of a beautiful state as your nomal state? Could it be that it can actually happen. Yes it can.

So next is how to change your emotional state.

Jak

Wired for Teens

Thu, 27 Jul 2023 20:40:24 GMT

New for Teens in Your Life.

Coaching For the Life of Your Teen

A s we have developed our adult program called REWIRE with guaranteed results, we have had an increasing request for coaching teens. In my career I have worked extensively with teens and their families. However our adult coaching programs are keeping us busy and producing life changing results.

Traditionally the programs offer coaching on life skills like: Balancing check books, some light decision making, a lot of rah rah about being your self.

We have found that Teens can learn and apply concepts we teach adults. They can apply the concepts to achieve intentional living, and break free of self hang ups and limitations. So we are offering a new program for Teens (9-12) called Wired. Tara Swanson Henderson MEd, MPH, BSED with decades of experience working with teens , is more than ready to introduce you teens to a new way of looking at life, decisions, live intentionally with resilience. Our "Wired for Good" coaching program will be delivered as an individual coaching program. There will be 12-16 individual sessions. As with all our work we guarantee the outcome. (see the agreement) Group coaching for teens will be added in January 2024. Isn't it time to be sure your teen is wired for success? Set up a free informational session to learn more.

We begin August 1, 2023 Give me a call if you want more information. 512-269-8023

Wired For Life, a multiple discipline approach to Life.

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

4.5 Things to Look For in Life Coaching For Good

Wed, 12 Apr 2023 15:25:38 GMT

How to choose the right Coaching for LIFE to Reaps the best results.

Early in our coaching business we found that in most cases learning new skills/coping skills to improve your life rarely creates permanent change. In fact permanent change is indeed difficult to achieve. But entirely possible. So what would you look for in a coaching situation to choose one that really creates positive change. Here are 3.5 things to look for.

1. Be clear about what you want help with. But ask: " does the coaching offer a whole life approac h?" . Getting help in relationship may not transfer directly to other areas of your life. , Getting a balanced approach to life change is what usually works best. We are a total being, not components. So ask how the coaching will address the whole person's needs

2. What disciplines does the coach work with in. Many coaching see a single approach to coaching. While Neuro Linguistic Programming can be comprehensive, there are often other disciplines needed. So is your coach trained and utilizing multiple modalities to create life change.

3. Is it "coach" centric? Or "You" centric. All life change comes from the subconscious. I do mean all. If the coach sees them as the creator of change, you might want to look for a coach that knows they are not the source of the change, they come along side and help, but they do not create the change. You need not be a clone of your coach, but fully you.

4. Does your coach take time to understand you before they recommend a coaching process? Often coaches anchor with a program they like, a one size fits all. That can only offer limited outcomes.

4.5. Does the coaching program offer help with limiting beliefs, limiting decisions, release from past trauma's? Or is is a layer over the past for the present. Unless limiting decisions and limiting beliefs are addressed you are likely to be back soon.

When should you start coaching? When things are good. We are all coming out of a crisis, going into a crisis or in a crisis. It is the nature of life. Learning the right life tools can be essential to walking through the storm unscathed. I recall the scout motto "be prepared". It is immensely helpful to have solid tools to walk through tough times. And more importantly to handle the good times.

How long should coaching take? Most people think it could take years. It certainly should not. We find that coaching will take a few weeks or months early on. Then some will want some follow up input. Our idea of coaching is to help you move forward quickly and smoothly. Our length of coaching is shorter than most simply because we address the whole person, not just some skills.

Coaching can be great life change for you. The question is what is holding you back?

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

The Constant Demands of that Inner Voice!

Tue, 07 Mar 2023 16:25:21 GMT

3.5 Ways to Break the Limiting Patterns in Your Life and Have MORE Energy

You are sitting alone and the thoughts run. For many of us in very short order we go to the things we are not. We go to the things we did poorly. It seems never to end. For most of us we can find enough positive to make it through. So we are o.k. right?

The truth is it takes energy to keep the self doubts, the limiting decisions in their place. That energy use takes away from more important things that would allow us to grow and succeed rapidly. What are some simple ways we can begin to break the patterns of thinking about our limitations, sense of lack of worth, how much we can be loved, how successful we can be. They are tied deep in our belief system, reinforced by story and story and story.

3.5 Ways to break free.

When a limiting belief or thought comes to the surface, call it what is its. I simply use my words. "That's a lie". The truth is I am actually good at that. We have beliefs in our conscious and unconscious that are simply not true. Remember you can break them when you identify the thinking a call it out.
Ask better questions. When something happens that triggers your negative thinking or simply engenders fear, anger or sadness, you might ask different questions Like: What else can this mean? or What if this is exactly where I am suppose to be? How can I grow in this situation?
Change your physiology. Move, shake your body out. Do an incantation. Take action. Progress will give you a boost of energy.

3.5 Realize the truth: Life is difficult. That is true for everyone. The folks on your social media that seem to have a great life, live in difficulty. The reality is once you accept this as a fact your life will become easier, it eliminates the self doubt and the question of "Why me". LIFE'S DIFFICULTIES ARE A PART OF THE JOURNEY , JUST LIKE LIFE'S GREAT TIMES. Difficulties promote growth.

So next time something challenging happens realize you are up for the task of moving forward. You are still alive in a great and wonderful and difficult world. Taking action will make you a conqueror

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

"It "Just Doesn't Go Away: or Can it?

Tue, 20 Dec 2022 17:46:09 GMT

When the Unknown Becomes The Problem.

That Thing: It Never Goes Away!

Like the need for the next cigarette, or the need to make it perfect. Or the procrastination that follows the need for perfection. It is always there.

It is there in the morning. Maybe it is like feeling like "when is the other shoe going to fall?". Some have called it a sense of not feeling comfortable in their skin. It is the thing that stops you, slows you down but your don't really know what it is. What stops you short of real excellence, real accomplishment, or real peace or real satisfying relationship?

One of my clients said it is a sense that she is always being judged.

The truth is you may NOT know what it is, beyond an uneasy feeling that is just below the surface, like an old acquaintance you never liked. It is just there. We can talk about the effects in the long run. The reality this feeling of dis ease, unease or just a sense of never quite fitting in is always there. What do you do? Where does this come from?

In my work I have found the source can have several possibilities.

It can be something that is generational, a driving feeling that many of the folks in your history experienced. For me it was anger and a sense of being left out that was passed to me from at least 3 generations.

Or it could be from some experiences early in life. Or some tragic experience. When I use to own learning centers, I could often identify a traumatic event at about the time the student stopped learning in school. The event happened and learning got put on hold. For many it is a thing they don't even remember.

So what do you do. Most of us think it will take years of digging emotionally. Or it may take going to a self empowerment class, or even meditation or traditional therapy. It may take years.

Or does it really? What if there is a way you can clear up these powerful impacts and decisions on your life and not even have to know what is the cause. You can go and release the cause(s) quickly and never have to know what it was. Oh yes you may know, but many do not. IT is really about removing the block and moving forward. It is what we do. Quickly efficiently and consistently.

The work we do in this area is some of the most rewarding. I find it most exciting to see people grow very positively in the days and weeks. What if you really could break through for an excellent life?

Jack

That Thing That Happened

Tue, 23 Aug 2022 19:57:39 GMT

That Thing That Happened. 4.5 ways to recognize a life changing event.

Several years ago, I was working for a company in sales. My son was about 5 years old. I had won a watch in a sales contest. It was bright blue and a good watch but did not need. My son liked it so I gave it to him. The band did not fit his wrist it was way too loose. He was heading to the bathroom, with the band very loose on his wrist, and I suggested that he take the watch off before he went to the toilet. So he did. I recall doing that only a couple of times. What I did not realize is the thing I suggested became a "have to".

Some years later he was 17 and we were back packing in Tennessee. We had been out for a couple of days and came upon. a real bathroom on a trail. My son handed me his watch and said can you hold this while I go to the bathroom. I said sure.

While I waited I was thinking about why he needed his watch off to go to the bathroom. When he exited the bathroom, I asked him why he took his watch off. He explained I had taught him to. It took me a minute to recall the source. The watch that was too big for his wrist when he was 5. He had carried that habit forward for 13 years unnecessarily.

I often have clients who are stuck. " I just can't make more than 80k. Everytime I get there something happens." Or "no good man/woman will ever accept me" or "no matter what I do, I can not find real love". "When I was a child my mom said I was a mean little girl. I have been mean ever since" . And many more. Things that happened that turned to beliefs that we hold on to. Some are benign like the watch some were much more limiting.

Our subconscious holds these things and works to protect up from harm. In the protection we find limitations that should never be there. Coaching is about releasing the limitations.

JB's number for Success was 52. What is Yours?

toolsforyourlife17@gmail.com (Jack Stanley) — Mon, 22 Aug 2022 18:15:47 GMT

Success, an Inside Job

In the late 70's I meet a guy we will call JB. JB was a dynamic person in a multi-level business that still exists. He had made some tremendous changes and growth. But how did JB make the changes? I say his success number is 52. JB had owned some shops that had failed by the early 70's. He was broke, looking for his next, when came across the opportunity. He and his wife had seen great changes in themselves with the product and had nothing to lose so they got after it. During the week he would invite people to his home, for the meeting. And each Thursday he would open his home and then he and his wife would get ready for the meeting. For 51 meetings no on showed up. He said for each night, no one showed up that he would go to his back porch and yell, "YA'LL ARE WRONG, I AM RIGHT AND I AIN'T QUITTING". The on meeting 52 one man showed up, and enrolled and what seemed like a blink of an eye, he was growing fast. JB became one of the most successful distributors in the company's history. Most folks thought it was instant success. It was not. IT begin at meeting number 1. One Principle of success is to be persistent. Persistence is one of the most important traits of success. Do you have it? You can certainly get it. Do you need it? Persistence....with out exception. What is your success number?

Jack Stanley BCC

Who is Jack Stanley BCC anyway?

toolsforyourlife17@gmail.com (Jack Stanley) — Mon, 18 Jul 2022 20:41:40 GMT

Who In the World is Jack Stanley?

Looking for the right life, relationship, business coach can be a challenge. What do they know? What have they done? and most important: Can they help me? Are the most often questions asked.

With the idea of keeping superlatives to minimum, let me answer some of those questions.

Most important I am prepared, trained and have lots of tools to work with people. Coaching is not therapy, It is coaching. I am a Certified Neural Linguistic Coach, Ho'Oponopono coach, Time Line coach.

I have worked with families and teens for 15 years, folks with addictions and bad habits for 16 years. I have opened and grown businesses, been a sales trainer and worked extensively with relationships and helping folks in relationship challenges. My concept and deliverance in my coaching if influenced heavily by Tony Robbins, I did 130 hours of training in his group. Milton Erickson, and am a Certified Hypnotist.

I believe it is one thing to help someone through a season. My goal is to also to teach people tools to allow them to keep moving their life, relationship or business forward. I offer on on one coaching live or by zoom. I also offer a one day intensive coaching called: REWIRE In 12 hours or so in one day, it changes things. And I offer family and group coaching sessions.

Can I be the one to come along side and help empower your next season in life? Sign up for a free 1/2 hour intro coaching session. A great way to know how well we might fit in a coaching relationship.

Live in my office at Cedar Park or Live on Zoom. Let's talk soon.

Ingredients of a Beautiful Life

Wed, 04 May 2022 16:18:08 GMT

Ingredients in a Beautiful Life.

Jim Carey has a few posts in YouTube, he postulates that he wished everyone could have success and money so they could find out it is not the answer. What did he mean? The folks advertising 10x income growth, or the testimonial of significant weight loss, and on and on. Where do you really find the idea of a beautiful life. First what are the attributes to a beautiful state or beautiful life. For some it may be living on the ocean, or the mountains, or farming: growing your own food, or it may be getting away from some toxic influence in your life. The truth is most people tend to repeat patterns. It is commonly held that folks who win the lottery are not happier than they were before they won. In fact it is often the opposite.

So what is a beautiful state. I would propose the ingredients of a beautiful state are: Love, patience, peace, kindness, perseverance, joy, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Think about it for just one minute. These ingredients will serve you well regardless of your circumstances. When Frankl wrote the book:Man's Search for Meaning, he concluded that the one thing that can not be taken from a human is the ability to choose ones reaction to what is happing to or for them. This is a very difficult thing to understand. How do you find a beautiful state in a concentration camp. It is as simple and as complex as knowing and becoming the ingredients of a beautiful state.

Consider, walking in life with the ingredients fully in your mind heart and soul. It engenders letting go of "how we think things have to be" and opens us to how things are. If you live in the reality of that, then the ability to influence the outside is increased, by the lack of war against something, but by the desire to influence or move it forward. Take some time and ask, Where is love in my life? Am I kind? Do I persevere? Do I have joy? Do I live in goodness, or faithfulness, or with self control?

The ingredients are here. But how do I get these into my life? Is it meditation? Is it psychotherapy? Is it giving up on all my dreams? We will discuss these one by one in the next few blog posts. Because just to say they are important, does not tell us how to reach them. Lets See How! #liveabeautifulife #beautifullife

A most important thing I learned from my Dog, Beau

toolsforyourlife17@gmail.com (Jack Stanley) — Thu, 14 Apr 2022 17:29:18 GMT

Knowing can change your life!

Several years ago we got a brand new puppy. He is a Bijon Friese we named him Beau. At around 8 months we hired a trainer to come help us train him. One of the first things she did was to put a treat in front of him and tel him to wait. Waiving her hand in front of his face. Beau immediately stopped his move toward the treat and watched her. After a bit of time she said "OK" and Beau happily had the treat.

I said: "Well he is not much of an alpha dog. Because he did not go for it. He did not push for what he wanted". The trainer responded: "Oh yes he is an alpha dog. He simply wasn't worried about it, because he knows he is going to eat".

That thought begin to work on me. I had been an entrepreneur for years. And had made businesses work and even failed in a business. and always worry or fear was a large driver in my life. I knew how to use these emotions to drive me.

After a few days, I formulated the question: "How would I be if it truly knew I was going to eat?" I found with some focus on that question the answers were rather simple. I would carry myself with confidence (usually did that). I would not "have to have" every business or client that came a long. And It would feel more free. So I started carrying myself that way. I moved away from having to have a contract for services early on in the relationship. Instead I moved to the point that I would earn the business at each step and when the time was clear I as doing an excellent job, I would get the signed agreement. Funny thing, the requests for discounts went away. The resistance from clients went away. I lost virtually no one (less than 1%). In the first year after that my income almost doubled, and I was much more comfortable in my world and in my self. I know I am going to eat. That is to say, I know I will have love in my life, respect in my life, that I will do my work in an excellent manner and provide outstanding results and I will eat!

In business, the ability to calmly release a client seemed to make them more confident in using me. In relationship with my wife, I became more confident of our love, and our relationship grew even deeper. In relationship to my self was the most profound change. I became comfortable with even my mistakes, even my failures. I know I am going to eat. The knowing is wonderful. Then even in my religious beliefs. I moved from hoping God was there, to knowing God is always there, and deeply feeling comfort in that knowledge. Risk no longer felt like risk, but truly felt like opportunity. I simply know I am going to eat.

How would you live if you "knew you are going to eat?" In the book Man's search for meaning Frankl says that we have one power that can not be taken from us. That is the power of choosing how we will respond to what ever happens to us. Certainly he had times he was hungry, but somewhere he found meaning, and understood he would indeed eat. In my coaching much of what I do, is help others come to "know they are going to eat", "know the will have love" "know they will have peace" "know they will have success" and most importantly "know that they are enough".

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

Cat Poop: The Crap We Bury in Our Souls

Thu, 17 Mar 2022 17:51:31 GMT

Shame And Cat Poop

When Shame Takes Over:

When shame is the base of your identity, it is like HELP, I HAVE FALLEN DOWN AND CAN'T GET UP. It is a sense of intense lack, self doubt and seeming no resolution. When I first start working with a client that has a shame based identity, we quickly begin to look for the cat shit. The metaphor is: that when a cat poops they dig a hole and then cover the poop up. We often take the crap that we have in life, and we say or think we have “dealt with it” . In Reality we r have just buried it in our minds and souls. And this buried stuff seeps poison in our minds, souls and creates evermore shame. I explain that we will move to be more like dogs…..

People with a shamed based identity may feel depressed, angry, self loathing, a strong sense of never enough, or never lovable and likely will never realize the core issue is shame. People with a shame based identity tend to keep people around them at the shallow level of relationship if at all. They can be the life of the party, but you will never see the “real them”. The idea that they often believe is: “if they know me, they will not like me” is prevalent in their thinking. They are likely to say "this is as good as it gets". Always feel there is a problem coming. The may put up with abuse.

Shame is the “hidden source” of these powerful emotions. We have talked about what shame is in other blogs. The question becomes how do you deal with it.

This is where being more like dogs comes to play. Unlike cats, when dogs poop, they smell it, others around them smell it, maybe even taste it. And they literally move on. And the sun light hits the poop it becomes fertilizer.

Learning to recognize the roots of shame in our lives is the first step. Opening up our selves to letting it out, dealing with it can begin to take away the power of the triggers to stop the shame cycle. There are several tools we use to help folks find peace in themselves, acceptance, and release from anger and self loathing and suddenly they become open to a much different life.

Shame resides in all of us to some level. Toxic shame can bring pain to our lives and the people around us that seemingly has no end. The message is that there is real help! Real answers. You do not have to stay there. There is an antidote to shame. And it begins with breaking through to love and acceptance, digging out the shame you have planted in your soul and replacing it with the truth. And that I call the beginning of a beautiful life!

You may think this sounds simple, it certainly is not. Working through the release of shame process is absolutely liberating. Freedom is near….#stanlelycoaching. #beautiful-life. Sign up for a free 1/2 hour session to see if you think this could help you.

Jack Stanley B.C.C

How to know if You are living a Shame Based Identity.

toolsforyourlife17@gmail.com (Jack Stanley) — Thu, 03 Mar 2022 18:51:57 GMT

Isolation, Fear of being known and Deep Sense of Not Enough! Is it time to stop?

How to know if you have a Shame Based Identity

Shame is an epidemic in our culture. It seems that men and women share this battle but in very different ways. The results however are common.

1. Isolation. The sense that if they get to know me, they won’t like me. Result is to feel alone or lonely. People who feel this isolate or if they come out it will be a social setting where they can control the conversation and keep the world much more surface.

2. The need for perfection, in dress, and or in life, and in appearances. Perfection. IF you are perfect enough they will not see you.

3. Develop a sense of superiority. Covering a deep belief you are an imposter. The sense that I know more, or know better with the hidden fear is some one will really see what you believe you are, an imposter.

4. Moving away from what you really want in life. Starting and failing in relationship, or business. Knowing what to do, but not doing it. Shame will freeze you in the redundant behaviors that create endless loops in your life.

Men and women do experience shame differently, however living a life where you are most sharply aware of your less than; doubting if you can be loved; or enough; is at the heart of shame, regardless of what you outward appearance may be.

Is it time to stop living a shame based identity? We help folks remove the blocks that inhibit a beautiful life. Shame is one of the most powerful and most common. Can we help you? Sign up for a free 1/2 hour coaching exploration click the link below.

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

Shame: The Author of Hell in Your Life!

toolsforyourlife17@gmail.com (Jack Stanley) — Thu, 03 Mar 2022 01:11:00 GMT

Shame often Hidden, Never Silent!

Sooo you are traveling along life’s highway and you seem to be doing o.k. Very possibly from all outward appearances you are great. But deep inside you feel like an imposter. You find yourself being too aggressive or even not aggressive enough. You use the word pleaser or maybe imposters syndrome to describe yourself.

When it comes to work you are a bit of perfectionist, or maybe you are a bit passive aggressive, finding fault all around.

You have talked to your counselor, been to events and you still end up with the idea you are different. There is a sense of something looming “out there” that might consume you.

Many of us cover that with an over aggressive stance, or we fall into depression, possibly even a swing of behavior. What ever it is in the end of the day deep deep inside you feel like something is “wrong” with you. You are not like the rest. You simply can never measure up. Counseling or, retreats hasn’t helped and you feel stuck.

As a relationship/business coach, I often finding a shame based identity is the center if this thinking. It is like you never feel enough, never feel o.k. Always looking for the “other shoe” to fall. Or the “hammer to come down”. Maybe you compensate by being the first to attack. The first one to criticize or put others “in their place”. None of these responses seem to fill the void you feel inside. Shame can drive you to sabotage a great relationship.

A shamed based identity can have deep roots in your mind, you psyche, and you physiology. Shame is NOT the same as guilt. Guilt drives you to seed resolution and to avoid the behavior. Shame drives all inside, reinforcing your lack of worthiness, it is you that is simply never enough. Shame increases the likelihood of repeating the shameful event.

Often addictions, depression and even aggressive behavior are symptoms of a shame based identity. Shame is a powerful task master enslaving the folks who experience it.

The truth is, most of us have the same questions: Am I enough?: and Can I be loved? When you add a shame based identity to this it makes finding the answers to those questions more difficult.

A shame based identity is most hard to recognize from within, and sometimes difficult to recognize as a coach. Many live their lifetime in this identity, always feeling they have no value. Research shows it starts strong in teens, and may diminish a bit in the 40’s and back like a lion as we age.

In my coaching practice the shamed based identity folks are often most difficult and most rewarding. When we break through the solid titanium wall of shame around their hearts and sous, and it melts, I am amazed at the most wonderful loving folks that pop out.

Are you in a state of shame based identity? Perhaps an intro coaching session can help you find out. Click below to set up a free 1/2 hour coaching exploration.

Jack Stanley B.C.C.

What happens in a Rewire one day coaching event?

THE MULTIPLIER: THE STAGE YOU CAN SEE BUT CAN'T SEEM TO REACH

The Power is from 1 to many!

The Builder Entrepeneur

Building Your Dream

The Entrepreneur Who Can't Stop Building — Even When It's Costing Him Everything

April 23, 2026

Part 1 of 4 — The Builder

The Identity That Saved You

When the Pattern Outlives Its Purpose

Where This Goes Next...

In Part 2 we look at the Maintainer

The stage most entrepreneurs reach but far fewer successfully navigate. The trap is quieter there, and in some ways more dangerous.

I f that question lands somewhere real, I work with entrepreneurs on exactly this level — not the business strategy, but the pattern underneath it. The conversation to find out if it is relevant to you is free.

Jack Stanley B.C.C. — Stanley Coaching — 512 269 8023 — jack@stanleycoaching.com stanleycoaching.com. ©jackstanley 2026

STRESS, THE ANSWERS. A BIBLICAL LOOK

Preparation for Adult Life in the Beattitudes! Who Knew?

Where This Sits in the Text

1. He Was Not Starting with Rules

2. The Beatitudes Rebuild Identity First

3. Yes—He Is Preparing Them (But for What?)

⚖️ 4. The Beatitudes Remove the Illusion of Self-Sufficiency

5. This Is Also a Filtering Mechanism

6. Connection to Luke (Same Pattern)

7. What This Means Theologically

8. Where People Get This Wrong

Bottom Line

From Thawed Out To New Meaning

This is a subtitle for your new post

The Way Forward: Stop Looking Back. Start Rewiring Forward

From Frozen to Breaking the Ice

So you have been Frozen, How do know what is next?

The Real Problem: You Didn’t Your Drive… You Lost Access

Sooo Successful You Are Frozen

Here You Sit Frozen in Your Own Fear, Self Doubt ... ﻿

You’re Not Burned Out. You’ve Lost Access

The Shift No One Warns You About

And That Range Becomes a Ceiling

Because You Can Feel It

And That’s Frustrating at Your Level

Here’s the Truth Most People Miss

Which Means This Changes Everything

What Stops You from Applying what you know?

Fear pops up and you stop....Frozen... Progress stops too.

Fear Stops Application

﻿

The Client who Knew it All!

Knowing is not the same as Being ﻿

The Woman Who Knew Everything… and Changed Nothing

The Real Problem: You’re Living from Observation, Not Identity

So What Is Integration?

And Here’s the Hard Question

Call to Action

Information Based Growth Verses Knowing Getting Past the Ceiling

Knowing is Never Enough Integration is the Key

Multiple Ceilings You never See

The Invisible Ceilings of Life

The Income Ceiling You Didn’t Know You Installed

Call to Action

Choosing the Right Life Coach

So Many Coaches, How do I Choose the "right" Coach.

Benefits of Men Growing Up in Chaos

The Upside of a Dysfunctional Home for Men

The firs Archetype of an Entrepreneur The Builder. Part 1 of 3

The Builder, the first Archetype of an Entrepreneur.

The Three Lives of an Entrepreneur

Part 1 — The Builder

The Maintainer Step 2 of Entrepreneur Essential and Dangerous

First the Builder. Then the Maintainer. A critical level that must be succeessfully Completed

The Three Archetypes of an Entrepreneur – Part 2

The Maintainer

The Multiplier. the Third Level of an Entreneur

The Multiplier few Entrepreneurs reach This Level..

The Three Lives of an Entrepreneur – Part 3

The Multiplier

The Maintainer Created Stability

The Multiplier Must Replace Himself

This Is Where Many Entrepreneurs Hesitate

Your Company Cannot Grow Beyond You

The Rewards of Multiplication

Here You Sit Frozen in Your Own Fear, Self Doubt ...

Knowing is not the same as Being