Caught in a Trap........ Jealousy Part 1 of 3

 Caught in a Trap, I can’t move on……

Jealousy Isn’t About Them. It’s About What’s Happening Inside You.

Jealousy is one of the most misunderstood emotions in relationships.

Most people believe jealousy comes from what their partner might do.

In reality, jealousy usually comes from what we fear about ourselves.

At its core, jealousy asks quiet but powerful questions:

• Am I lovable?
• Am I enough?
• If I’m truly known, would I still be chosen?
• If I were left, would I survive emotionally?

When those questions don’t have solid answers, the mind goes on alert. Suspicion feels like protection. Control feels like safety. Jealousy feels justified.

But it’s a trap.

The Real Source of Jealousy

Much of jealousy is not a lack of trust in your partner—it’s a lack of trust in yourself:

• Trusting that you are worthy of love
• Trusting that you are not disposable
• Trusting that even if loss occurred, you would not disappear

When that trust is missing, the nervous system scans for danger. Innocent behaviors become suspicious. Silence becomes threatening. Jealousy becomes constant.

Transparency Helps—but It Doesn’t Heal This

I’m very clear about this: transparency matters. Shared passwords, open phones, and access can be healthy in marriage.

But let’s be honest—access does not create trust.

You can have every password and still feel anxious.

You can check everything and still feel unsafe.

Because jealousy isn’t solved by information.

It’s resolved by inner security.

Trust grows when:

• The relationship is emotionally strong
• There is intimacy, not just proximity
• Communication is honest and kind, even when it’s uncomfortable

Jealousy fades when fear is no longer running the relationship.

And that brings us to a deeper issue—the belief that quietly fuels jealousy and often destroys intimacy altogether. I can’t live without you…..

But wait there is more.  What if you know....



Jack Stanley B.C.C.           

©Jackstanley 2025